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Google Transcript Poem: Megan Boyle (What I Know And Don’t Know Today)

RND/ to consider a disturbing Google transcript of a Youtube vlog post by author Megan Boyle.

Megan Boyle is OK – a good person, and one should wish her only the best – to live long and prosper.

When you were a child you were a treated kind but you were never brought up right
You were always spoiled with a thousand toys but still you cried all night
Your mother who neglected you owes a million dollars tax
And your father’s still perfecting ways of making sealing wax
– The Rolling Stones, 19th Nervous Breakdown

To clearly note that, mental illness affects everybody (particularly on this planet), and that men too often entirely dismiss the troubles of others (itself arguably a form of acute illness) – and: to critique Megan’s words as symbolically expressing The Inherent Insanity Of White Privilege; almost as if, once all physical creature comforts have been met (mostly due to the inherent, violent socio-historical advantages of certain levels of melatonin in one’s epidermis), one willingly joins the Self Help Industrial Complex, easily adopting Designer Neurosis As A Lifestyle Choice, simply because one can (possibly to fill up the inherent Psychic Void Of Whiteness?):

Lena Dunham was once truly worried about shoelaces, dogs, and magazines on ‘public shelving’? Fuck my life. You must have some serious spare time on your hands, girl. Who doesn’t wish they had those kind of ‘problems’?

In which one is reminded of dear Ann in Sex, Lies and Videotape (Sonderberg, 1989) who sits on a comfy couch in a nice warm house in a nice gated upper middle class neighbourhood, talking out of her sweet ass to her well groomed therapist about Her Recent Psychological Troubles With Garbage. Similarly, notice Megan’s patently bizarre ideas regarding the suffering of a small town that’s been flooded; according to her, while it clearly ‘sucks’ that the townsfolk suffered, it’s because ‘everything has a meaning’, or something. Like eggplants, perhaps – or magnets. What a cosmic mystery – now solved! (You know your in trouble when bullshit weasel words like ‘soul’ start getting passed around.)

Did you ever wonder what your purpose in life is? This book is about finding your soul’s purpose or destiny. Every soul has its path, but sometimes that path is not clear. The acorn theory is an example of each soul beginning with an imprint
– Dr. Kengard, Lost In Translation (Sofia Coppola, 2003)

Note however how only a few have the opportunity of ‘flexing a new part of their worldview’ – while others only ever get such worldviews thrust upon. Trying them out, like one tries out a new costume, or an experimental tweet to a willing audience of greasy voyeurs. Psychological roleplay for a global audience. Some poor homeless guy on the street, mumbling to himself? Well he’s simply A Random Nutjob, right? But for those with cultural clout and a high tech camera pointed at them, it’s just part of their quirky, interestingly multi-layered Character – their ability to “construct one’s own life” as Lena Dunham puts it. Nice work if you can afford it – and certainly fiscally advantageous for the armies of suited assholes who slowly nod with feigned understanding while pretending to listen (with a bad German accent: “-Your mozzer?”)

Who walks around thinking like that? Almost like the last thing they’d ever actually want to do is give up such endless minor inner pseudo-troubles; stunningly inconsequential thoughts, literal ‘Whitenoise’ forever churning in an empty skull. Loose, amazingly trivial talk about fully ‘integrating’ recent pseudo-philosophical insights and ‘old ancient shit.’ Burn some more incense – take another hot bubble bath with scented candles while sipping another organic kale and spiced pumpkin health drink laced with the therapeutic tears of some hard working indigenous peoples from.. you get the idea. Ancient or not Megan, it’s still just smells a little too much like First World White People Problems.

What I Know And Don’t Know Today
By Megan Boyle

1. Good afternoon it’s March 17th 2019 a
Very different day for Megan boiled in
March 17 2013
Well look at the day we had all the
Stuff that the world has for you Megan
How’s it for everybody I mean it doesn’t
Have it for
Anything I don’t know yeah
It’s not about what the world has for
You it’s what you can give back to the
World I really
Shouldn’t say stuff like that though
Before it’s fully like integrated into
Me but kind of saying it out loud is how
It gets integrated to me

2. I wouldn’t have been talking like this
Six years ago today I can’t even tell
You what I’m just doing I mean I can’t
Not cuz I don’t care for you but because
I care for my life enough to
I don’t know this is like a silly thing
It’s doing now I’m making a video a
Memorial or something video
I didn’t know an anniversary in
Anniversary video I really should be
Driving though and concentrating on
Driving but I haven’t posted to YouTube
In a while and maybe more I think more
Will come later but this is just a
Little quick thing a little quick hello
More to myself passing through time or
Whatever then anything and like people
Who see themselves I guess reflected in
Me passing through time and what a
Wonderful thing great thing it is that
We humans get to do we get to pass
Through time it’s like a game it’s like
A spaceship space game just like I don’t
Know

3. Your body is a little spaceship
Passed into time
The spiritual being having a human
Experience
That’s what sticking to you right now
Well the human experience is speaking to
You right now we’re about to go into
This is where I first worked my first
Job II job was it a it’s Ellicott City
My window say he’s broke beautiful March
Sky crazy mid March sky
The chef is on the Left coming up there
By that place called the Phoenix that I
Don’t know if you saw or not I’m just
Feeling like this is wonderful
And nice to be driving through here
These are two stories that have been
Flooded down one is okay that’s the
Coffee shop that I worked at I think I
Freaking passed by that in liveblog
I’m like yeah I did there’s a part where
I do that but okay great yeah how poetic
And strange that that coffee shop is now
Officially closed

4. This town is come upon
Some suffering Ted it’s been flooded
Twice really poor it’s it it sucks what
Happened to Ellicott City
I guess it needed to happen
That’s a new view of mine the things
That are bad that seem almost accidental
We’re this eggplant though that’s not
Accidental that was put there for a
Reason
All these shits for a reason if you
Think about it everything that’s
Happening like we all have like I don’t
Know I thought I used to think you know
It was like good to not have reasons for
Anything there’s no reason for anything
It’s just all random whatever what you
Think you have power if you think you
Have reasons well there’s reasons but we
Don’t have to like cling to them but
Anyway it’s the unfortunate event of the
Flood has made happened for some reason
Maybe we don’t know it yet I don’t know
I don’t know this is a little new I’m
Trying out a new part of my worldview
And flexing a little new part of my
Worldview here

5. Maybe it’s because like just life is
Always rebuilding I mean nature is
Always rebuilding itself it’s always
Getting destroyed and creating itself
Again and us people are always
Destroying things hopefully so we can
Create
New things I think destruction serves a
Higher purpose now or it’s just like in
Relation to creation like like I had to
Destroy I created this Live Blog of my
Life

6. I created this real big example of like
A false self that I could you know I
Clung to you dearly and I needed to let
This stuff go of myself I put it out
There I didn’t know this at the time but
I was putting it out there so I could
Let it go so I could let this part of me
Go and I my my mistake was in
Concretizing or materializing the thing
That must be let go is my life in body
As my embodied life my soul my
Psyche like all of this stuff I
Shouldn’t maybe serve these words around
It you know because they’re big words
They’re big important words and her
Words mean stuff we create the world
With our words
We do though that’s what our
Consciousness does uses words and
Language to build so like when I create

7. I don’t know I just had to like put all
This stuff out there this like terrible
Way of functioning that needed to go it
Needed to go I didn’t need to die I
Shouldn’t like probably I don’t know
It’s but it’s fine that I did I had to
Learn this way I had to learn this way
Okay I don’t even know if people
Watching us know that I tried to kill
Myself after live blog I’m gonna know
Happens for a reason the world the
Universe is is playing with us it’s just
Playing with us it’s just playing with
Us this is plane all of this all of this
It doesn’t have to be such a big serious
Deal it’s just playing or just playing
Just playing just playing
And that’s that’s great I think that’s
What people are here to do create and
Play this isn’t some new age shit this is
Some like old ancient shit ancient shit

[Music]

8. It’s cool it’s very serious ain’t shit
It’s both it’s both we’re a paradox life
Is a paradox we’re walking around and if
We start to think like oh I’m maybe not
A paradox cuz I think I’m right you know
I think I’m right like I’m maybe not in
Liveblog I was like cool you know I am
Everything I say I am this is everything
That is me there is no mystery about me
And mystery is wrong because mystery is
Elusive and mystery is misleading and
Mystery causes miss information
No it’s thinking that you can own
Mystery and stuff and thinking that you
Can figure it out and thinking that you
Can rationalize and materialize and
Concretize stuff that has no business
Being I mean it doesn’t need to be part
Of the human experience at least for me
It involves both knowing and not knowing
Why we’re here it’s not about supreme
Knowledge of like why I’m here what I am
You know it’s this like weird thing of
Like cuz I don’t know what brought me
Into life

9. Sure I was born by my parents
That’s like so weird and fascinating to
Me I was born if you don’t think that
That’s look like you were born whoever’s
Watching this you like came and there’s
Like a whole world like billions of
Years of existence came before you
You’re just a teeny part of this that’s
Not like okay you can look at that as
Like oh but that means I’m nothing I’m
So insignificant
Well yeah you’re insignificant in a
Sense but you’re part of something very
Strange very mysterious very like there
Nobody can explain why they were born we
Don’t know we didn’t choose this as far
As I know I didn’t choose to be born but
Like maybe I signed a paper or something
There’s some equivalent of that my
Immaterial self decided because I don’t
Know I do some like kooky believe
Sunlight

10. You know who knows who knows if it’s
True or not we’d make up stories about
Creation and to understand it but it’s
Just stories it’s just stories it’s not
The act of creation itself to create a
Story I mean it is but I don’t mean
Separate it’s not like supreme creation
We’re not like actually creating a
Universe when we create a book or when
We create a view of ourselves or create
A funny mythology about like past lives
Or something like just I don’t know
Let’s play with that let’s have a little
Grain of salt dance with that salt dance
I don’t know not not be so deadly
Serious about what we know and what we
Think we know we don’t know anything you
Guys if you’re a human body looking at
This and perceiving this and listening
To this you don’t know anything I don’t
Know anything I don’t know what I’m
Talking about

11. But something else knows there’s a
Profound intelligence working operating
In all life I think in all nature in all
Humans flowing through us this like
I don’t know what you want to call it
And if you want to pretend like it’s not
There that’s cool and that’s your thing
To do and your I think that’s like a
Part of it I think that’s part like
Resistance to it as part of it I don’t
Know if I’m even making sense I don’t
Even know it’s March 17 2019 and I don’t
Ever want to die again I don’t ever want
To I don’t know I’m you know if you feel
If you’re a person like me who’s really
Hated themselves really not respected
Themselves and other people on the
Planet and and the mystery of life stuff
Just I

12. I feel for you I feel for you I was
Gonna say I love you it’s love what I
Feel for you because I understand it and
It sucks and it doesn’t have to be this
Way we can kind of you have a choice
About
Whether you suffer or not I think always
We have a choice whether we suffer or
Not

13. Sometimes suffering like befalls us
And we have a choice of like how we’re
Gonna react to it sometimes you got to
React like I don’t know this is getting
It into a weird moral territory that I
Don’t mean to be taking it but basically
Just if you’re if you’re if you’re aware
Of yourself is somebody I’m mostly like
Talking just people who like hate
Themselves because I hated myself and I
Had to make myself like okay on the
Outside and create this book of me on
The outside even like I mean I’m some
Obsessed as my body I love that stuff
Didn’t really make it into the books I
Was embarrassed about it but I’m so like
I must look perfect I must be perfect I
Must present perfect I must be this like
Megan Boyle image I must have a certain
Way of relating myself

14. I must have a certain humor
I must only express these
Kinds of thoughts you didn’t know
Probably or maybe I don’t know people
See this about me or not but a lot of
That was going on like I was very
Controlling in my head very controlling
Of this fragile little human body that
Never even did anything wrong to begin
With us you never did anything wrong if
You’re watching this I mean you did I’ve
Done terrible things I’ve done horrible
Things I am NOT not my soul
My body or whatever I think the body and
The soul are kind of the same thing and
The spirit moves through them and I’m
Just sorry these terms are like
Offensive to you but maybe if they’re
Offensive to you I don’t know think
About what
It’s trying to tell you what to do so I
Think I know stuff see and that’s not
Helpful that’s never gonna be helpful oh
My god yeah

15. Yeah I don’t I don’t need to like see
Myself in writing or see like some image
Of myself that’s not terrible it’s not
Hateful in order to believe and know
That I’m not a terrible evil being who
Deserves to die and doesn’t deserve
I’m deserving to die is a funny
Sentiment but yeah it’s like very
Fall-like like I also think the concept
Of like forgiving yourself is false like
You don’t need to forgive yourself for
Anything you’ve done horrible things
Like go take care of that – the things I
I’m still starting just starting on all
The horrible things I need to correct
Not correct but just like
Get away some but amends are those gears
Are starting to turn from that it’s not
All about what I’ve done you know like
You’re forgiven you’re already forgiven

16. We’re all blameless little children
We’re all babies we’re all babies that
Just like to spend some time that was a
Very funny moment for the video to cut
Out because I was getting carried away
See I think that that means something is
Interacting with me the universe is
Interacting with that school it’s some
Fun to acknowledge that for me now and
Really because it’s something real it’s
The only real thing I think I’m real I’m
Real this is real

17. But the particularity ‘s of my life the
Little things it’s not the only reality
We got freaking clouds in the sky we got
Fucking billions of years we got these
People on the road they’ve all done
Stuff

18. I’ve all probably been in a similar
Place where I have been
You know in some way I think everybody
Experiences
These things are seeing shades shades of
These things
How should I wrap this up cuz
Seems like I should I’m going around the
Beltway something I used to do
In life
Around that time in my life just drive
Aimlessly and I’m kind of revisiting
That semi consciously just sort of
Happened

19. That’s another thing I don’t know
I don’t know I don’t know I want to just
Give people hope now that’s what I want
To do I don’t know and I know that it
Gets people hope at least it’s given me
A man so to hear to read stuff by people
Who’ve gone through similar things as me
Because I let has let me know that I’m
Not alone and you’re not alone you’re
Not alone you know
You’re not alone none of us are and ya
Got in a hokey sense
When you talk about
And preachy way that I might be doing
Feels earnest to me
But I’m often surprising myself these days
Like say things that seem and feel
Authentic and then I learned that some
False part of me is operating that’s
Just for me I don’t I don’t know I don’t
I used to just think I knew myself
Really really well and that like that
Was the most important thing about life
Is to know myself really well and as I
Got to know myself for this likes
Controlling that knowing and
Interpreting like just from a
We meet

20. Interpreting not knowing like I really
Shut out other perspectives and that’s
That’s where it gets that’s where you
Stop being a paradox that’s when you
Start being a little waited on one side
And I’ve lived a lot of my life under
The impression that I knew nothing but
In a very hopeless way in a very
One-sided way and I still kind of
They’re still kind of in that but I’m
Beginning to come out of it and I
Thought it might be nice to share that
With you because I I don’t I don’t need
To also be afraid of like that stuff I
Do seem to
Knowing or finding out or learned I
Don’t know I’m excited by a lot of the
Things I’m learning learning and playing
Learning playing and creating yeah let’s
Do that with life it’s a choice yeah
We still mess up I’m always gonna mess
Up I’m a human not better
And that will never be perfect
It’s like ingrained in me taught myself
A lot of unhealthy stuff a lot of
Unhealthy attitudes because they feel sick

21. Is it kind of knowing or like knowing
Feel safe feel safe to know at least
Something about the world something
About this crazy huge vest
Incomprehensible mystery that we all
Said I suddenly ended up in what does
That mean
To find some relief for that and there
Is relief or out there there’s lots and
Lots of relief out there
Oh I didn’t feel like relieved saying that

[Music]

22. I want to provide relief
Not just relief in relating to pain
That’s one kind of relief but I’m really
Interested for the next
Half for two-thirds of my life
Hopefully 2/3
We’re longer who knows
To do that

[Music]

23. Stop doing all you people out there
Scary you know you’re all scary to be
You’re all scary to me you’re not my
Friends you know
You’re scary but it’s like
I don’t like that and I don’t like that
That doesn’t feel even honest I I don’t know
Okay okay now I feel suddenly compelled
To give advice
If you remember if you felt like
Whenever you were whatever you felt like
In a kid that was right
Like a period if you felt enjoy is extended
An imagination as a kid if you thought
That the world was full of friends as a
Kid that’s right that’s right and it’s a
Kid you get hurt terribly babies cry so
Loud my friend told me this they cry so
Loud that because this is literally the
Worst they’ve ever felt in their lives
And when you’re a kid and you get hurt
That’s like literally the worst like we
Hang on to shit from childhood if you
Don’t and if you like move past that I
Don’t think we all like hang on dissent
From childhood not really shit
It’s like tools it’s
If you’re learning and it doesn’t have
To like demos you know it doesn’t have
To be our life story
These teens and these fears and these
Resentments that we build up when we are
So impressionable and so young that our
Poor little hearts

24. We break them open ourselves we break
Them ourselves by the ideas we create
About what it means to have been hurt
What it means to have gone Sears
No human should go through I mean we
Shouldn’t some things for me I think no
You know but no I mean and that’s my
Pride or something nothing
Maybe thinking I don’t deserve to have
Ever felt so so horribly betrayed
And you know it
Now I’m thankful for those experiences
It’s you know it’s not one or the other
It’s a lot yeah yeah all right
You’re Billa yeah yeah yeah so they’re
Not condemnation these pains
These traumas these like ways that we’ve
Messed up these mistakes we’ve made
They’re just part of a big kind of circle

25. It’s like going back to the pain from a
Different point now and going back to
The because we’re always gonna be
Accumulating memories and stuff
I think also like the childhood memories
And stuff where whenever in your life he
Started

26. You know because we all experience like
Some levels some kind of traumatic
Events I know that’s like it buzzword
Now whatever but trauma doesn’t make us
Who we are it will shape us it shapes us
And it’s but it’s here to shape us we’re
Here to get shaped I think and shape
Ourselves and get shapes it’s like I’ll
Stop saying dance but it’s the dance I
Don’t know what this other thing that I
Can’t really don’t have very good
Language for yet maybe there doesn’t
Need to be language for it or I don’t
Know it so I’m very interested by it and
So I will probably develop some language
For it but because it will have guided me to
Not because I’m developing language
Because I have supreme language power of
Everything I don’t know I don’t know
Yeah I’m going off on Watson
Lots of lots of tangents kind of here
Looping around but I watched the first
Video and it made sense to me so and I’m
Feeling really good saying this stuff
Out loud yeah

27. So but I guess that’s about all I have
To say for right now
Also funny I noticed like remember in
The beginning there’s like there was
Really sunny
Kind of like a little bit cloudy I just
Always I don’t know sometimes I’ll be
Aware of like the sunlight coming in or
Oh wow the day suddenly turns cloudy and
That will reflect stuff that’s going on
With me I don’t know it’s I give a
Little I think that’s something I think
That something
I don’t know I need to have faith and
Stuff I need to hope for stuff that’s
Not you know me making it up totally so
That’s just important for me to have
Not saying it needs to be free
Also stop worrying about if you’re gonna
Offend people Megan it’s fine to offend people

28. What do you do is being offended you
Think about it you let it in
I don’t know sometimes
Build up resentments about it
That thing offended me I don’t deserve
That I deserve to never be offended
I don’t ever want to do a subpoena pain
Of being offended or being traumatized I
Never want to deal with that I don’t
Deserve to ever feel like okay okay okay
I will say that the only experience the
Only human experience that I have known
That feels unnatural to me that feels
Wrong to me that feels like no another
Funny point for the video to have cut
Off I’ll make this quick the only
Experience that ever that feels
Unnatural to me is anger is anger is
Anger I don’t think that we’re supposed
To be angry and I don’t think we’re
Supposed to inflict suffering and pain
And trauma on others I do not think
That’s what we’re here for I think the
Anger is part it’s part of another
Feeling that of like driven as’ that
When it’s balanced it’s driven as’ but
When it’s unbalanced it becomes anger an
Anger has a life of its own it’s not
Your life it takes you over and anger
Starts with resenting
And resenting starts with fear fear the
Unknown for me this is what I search

29. So yeah yeah get mad
You know be mad like there’s stuff
There’s have huts but you know like
Fight for the stuff that matters that’s
Driven this but imposing your beliefs
Imposing your about that driven as’ like
I don’t mean to do that like with any of
What I’m saying now this is just me
Talking about me my experience like I’m
Not saying oh you must have my ideas I
Don’t care I don’t care you’re gonna do
The thumbs but some part of me I’m not
Gonna deny that I have like anger and
Pride in me that it does think what look
The sunshine you like
It’s like that that is part of me I have
Rage I have terrible rage I’ve reached
In horrible ways of people like unhuman
Despicable ways I have acted and that’s
Not it’s okay to defend peep
Humiliated people knowingly to have
Power because you feel like you don’t
Have power oh that’s like sick that’s
Fucking sick man I mean that’s like in
If you’re gonna like worry we’re animals
Right we’re human animals I’m
Comfortable as that I’m comfortable like
I you know evolved from
Whatever something that needed to fight
To be alive and I don’t think that we
Need to fight so hard for our views to
Be heard for our whatever it’s not it
Doesn’t but it starts to be like a sight
That’s pointed at an end of like worse
Like forcing another to be on your end
That means that you’re not that means
That you’re on one end you’re not in
Balance here and wanted
You’re one sided yep yep and that’s kind
Of them by a lot of them right now
Aren’t we in the world
Flotsam finger-pointing lots of brightness on
Yeah blah blah society bah-bah-bah
All right

30. Three hands that’s another three
Oh wait it’s 333 when I said that whoa
Okay all right all right we’re coming up on
Baltimore now I’m going home now gotta
Make some lunch and go about my day I
Wish you the best March 17th
I thanks for listening thanks for watching
Yeah bye and bye for now

Negativo 2 months ago

A LOLtube comment beneath the video is clearly worried about Megan:

Megan listen to me. You’re clearly unwell. Are you taking your meds? You need to get out of your head, stop this whole thinking and talking thing, drop literally all the people that somehow enforce this and start to get tired by your days. You need to get tired Megan or this is never gonna end. Or is gonna end very badly and literally everyone knows it. I know, I know, lots of love, people follow you, they all try to be supportive, whatever. It’s not what you need. You need some quiet in your fucking head.

Update Patch: Liveblog

Address that incredibly tragic portion of the video, in which Megan oh-so casually mentions she attempted to kill herself after her awful book “Liveblog” was published. Almost like it was nothing – just another facet of, “You know like, The Whole Integrated Experience, man.” Awful perhaps, because defining one’s entire existence as a vacuous Social Media Personality – as something that only exists forever Online, Realtime, for the single electro-corporate function of endlessly exposing the pathetic, tiny, blasted, malignantly useless details of one’s Nice White Life to people stupid enough to remotely give a flying batshit about just how many grams of Adderall and Red Bull you just mindlessly consumed in the car park outside your local Hipster Whole Foods store, itself seems perfectly insane – and utterly predictable. (Anyone who’s tried to sit through a single long reading session of Liveblog, will not only instantly understand how Megan’s suicide attempts were always on the cards, but will also have felt like topping themselves after the first 20 pages. Talk about weightless ‘Life Lite’.)

The publisher ‘reader recommendation’ blurb page of Liveblog features the following quote (no lie):

Bold, honest, relentless. A shocking insight into the mind of a complete sociopath.
– @displayglancer

Example Reference Links

  1. TV Tropes: White Void Room
  2. Megan Boyle: entirely free of Pretension and Artifice
  3. Moviechat: Why is Ann Thinking about Trash?
  4. Daily Beast: Will White Feminists Finally Dump Lena Dunham?
  5. Vice: I Went to a Therapist for the Wealthy to Find Out How Rich People Deal
  6. Brainblogger: The Self-Help Industry Helps Itself to Billions of Dollars
  7. The Atlantic: The Real Problems With Psychiatry
  8. Alt-Lit Is for Boring, Infantile Narcissists

// how to play big science

Categories
Internet Art

Megan Boyle: Entirely Free Of Pretension And Artifice

RND/ to consider Fader’s notion that, unlike “My Struggle” by Karl Ove Knausgaard [1] Megan Boyle’s bumper blog book [2] “Liveblog” is somehow ‘entirely free of pretension and artifice’ [3]

Reference Links

  1. London Review of Books
  2. On Young Blogging Writers
  3. Megan Boyle Fader Interview
Categories
Internet Art

AAA-Indie Gamedevs “100 Rabbits”: A Critique

RND/ to consider on gamedevs “100 rabbits” critique

calculating truer costs of aaa indie playdev lifestyle aka ‘ey life as instagram filter’ / contextualizing hip colonial tourist fantasies of developers 100 rabbits

part of the hypertography one exhibit

why do ey think x research play adventurers always need to tour worlds hottest locations to prevent end of days
– critical distance quote

where did ey grow up
south pacific
ir sorry where
south pacific islands/ tuamoto archipelago french polynesia tahiti papeete
– from/ cypher movie 2002

to imagine contextual critique for frankly unlikely sounding devine lu linvega / rekka bell -bringing to mind resarcs called quote clay in bad 80s novels frozen minimalist hedonism of ir multimedia play development studio 100 rabbits

 

notes / observations based around ir artificial feeling skillfully advertised / manufactured patreon video – which might otherwise seem perfectly ordinary everyday – perfectly naturalized -made somehow natural or effortlessly elf contained -x as within dead beating heart of global capital

right off bat/ watch precisely 100 rabbits quick march into line with mill precision forming single hyper efficient modular unit / logo / logos

ominous background music begins – warning lightly infused with unconscious apocalyptic dread – as though gloom exit dread foul decay always unconscious / background fellow travellers on x strange developmental journey

image of young pale skinned couple in quote too cool for school techno cyber nugoth / soviet realism statue mode – somehow perfectly po faced poseurs/ survivors from lightly failed / wilfully obscure 90s electronica band

soft sensual voice in digital darkness whispers quote/ 26 days until ir leave – until ir can truly begin

– ah/ humble myth of honest quote fresh new beginnings apparently free of context cultural history

yet what precisely brought ey there to x holey quote alpha moment clean innocent – precisely on whose dusty tired shoulders does one too often arrive like queens princes – without acknowledgement

ir independent designers

– independent of andor from what exactly/ what about being inter dependent non designers

together ir made oquonie play space about impossible spaces – play space about being lost

– interestingly oquonie as described as ios puzzle play for ipad iphone where bizarroid characters speaking obscure language – as though 100 rabbits describe elves

to consider quote impossible space 100 rabbits smoothly semi unknowingly inhabits as x of global capital – dark space of privilege cold calculation oh so well designed computer user interfaces

featuring violently clean postmodern typefaces – space x as from outset precisely quote designed socio synthetically constructed for x own needs/ synthetically intelligent paperclip maximization

play space about being lost making sense of world

– x virtually impossible to be lost in todays hyper wired universe of digital information/ network of global capital now lies everywhere as increasingly able to instantly find quote locate -ie contextualize anyone on x vast data control grid

or perhaps n could be more about feeling lost to realities of x real world just making nonsense of x actual fact – mere convenient escape into ones own tiny insular universe of neat nutra sweet moments carved up into easily traded / garmeified micro fun/tm units

ir made n while travelling ir started n while ir lived in japan n was finished during trip to thailand

– rapidly dying earth as ones private global entrepreneurial playground – without end or limits

must seem hard – ey hear those long are conditioned trips with little niblets / in flight video can appear arduous

then view shot of beautiful young thin woman in clean spacious well lit ventilated room surrounded by high end technology -probably built by wage slaves in sum awful sweatshop in asia

ey guess ey could say x oquonie as reflection of elves at time / lost in translation

– to consider movie lost in translation racist vanity project/ watch as sum fiscally solvent blank eyed city girl pirouettes on cushion of perfumed are through dystopian megacity of expensively cheap neon dreams – dim ever so slightly bored look on ir pink cheeked face precisely mirroring carefully constructed lite n breezy ironic detachment with which apocalyptic west treats other peoples culture – as mere slick super surface / hyperreality coating to be casually tossed over x own private ideological skeletons

going to new places kept ir creative

– to quote fellow resarc slavoj zizek most sublime hysteric/ hegal with lacan:

previously n was possible to talk about periods of quote equilibrium during which processes of production reproduction spun peacefully periods in which contradiction between forces relationships worsened whereas nowadays contradiction between forces / relationships ir discord as part of very concept of capitalism elf – n as x very contradiction x forces capitalism into state of permanent expansive growth incessant development of x own conditions of production
if x as case then evolutionary reading of capital as x own limit as no longer sufficient/ n as never case at certain point framework of relationships of production block further development of productive forces/ on contrary n as immanent limit elf – x internal contradiction pushing perpetual development of capitalism ever onwards/ normal state of of capitalism as perpetual revolution of x conditions of existence/ from very outset n rotten/ marked by contradiction distortion immanent disequilibrium n as for x very reason n changes incessantly n never stops developing/ every day fundamental constitutive contradiction of capitalism must be quote resolved anew incessant -research play space like -rw/ development as only way x can occur/ far from serving as x brakes x limit as motive force behind capitalist development/ x as both paradox of capitalism x mos fundamental resource/ n as capable of transforming x own difficulty – x very powerlessness into source of x power growth – more n rots more x internal contradiction worsens more n must revolutionize elf in order to survive

ir decided then x as kind of life ir wanted for elves

– x one as able to choose seems very lucky – yet what about everyone else where do ey factor in to ey perfect life / style equation

ir want to feel lost again

– sounds like ancient chinese emperors who burn all ancient texts cultures x went before ey in ir illusion x history quote really – literally – starts with ey

perhaps one as already lost in deep shed – but just not care to fully realize n

as to say ir enjoy unacknowledged privileged feeling of having fiscal choice to engage in creative expression apparently outside dominant modes of mainstream cultural production but rather than quote outside ey such seeming independence as very dominant mode of ir existence

just as apple used to say/ think different – yeah but note all such thinking lies clearly within boundaries of ir tax free corporate territory

x very definition of main stream – where most of garbage floats

100 rabbits renamed ir boat pino – stunningly aggravating character permanently suffering from inbuilt brain damaged cuteness from pseudo philosophical anime ergo proxy

in later patreon video 100 rabbits bunch of beach bronzed beautiful re cryten boat with beer/ laughably however rekka bell however as quick to point out x sum fancy craft beer will be used for ceremony – but of course n will – after all such distinctions separate in from out crowds dahling

– series of images taken with nice camera then drift past all looking as though treated to luxurious instagram treatment

theres nonthing more foreign to ir than x boat in open ocean

to consider what kind of enthnocentric psycho projections busy at work here – what unquestioned cultural values needed to maintain plastic senses of sum exotic free floating ambient quote otherness – what forms of concrete -in inverted hegelian sense colonial expansionism actually at play on these dirty global data waters of info capitalism

exactly what toxic myths float such tourist dreams of quote foreignness / quote big unknown big other which are ultimately from outset only ever mere reconfirmations of epic heroic status of ones elf / ones own desperate clawing techno culture

ir take off into cosmos ready for anything – solitude hardship exhaustion death
ir are proud of elves/ but when ey think about n ir enthusiasms sham/ ir not want other worlds – ir want mirrors
– via resarc gibarian / solaris -2002 steven soderbergh/

ir want fewer things in ir life

– yeah/ but quote right things/ right – as though being financially independent means independence from finance – x holey global shopping imperative

such obsessive compulsive spartanism exposes need to escape to sum mythical private brotopia – construction of monument to digital hyper quantified elf/tm

– 1:32 contents of ey pockets – only best

ir spend time in cafes

– looking east in cool private abstracted reverie while sipping coffee made by brown skinned resarcs in abject poverty

x big move for ir – really big step into unknown

– but n is precisely known – eminently knowable understandable -x as if one chooses to question ones underlying first assumptions

sure there are always risks involved in such quote capital adventure in indie venture capital – but these somehow seem minimal generally laughable

thank ey for keeping ir afloat – literally

literally x as last thing said for almost every 100 rabbits video/ consider n signifies keeping dream alive – insular escapist illusion of indie-pendence totally dependent on global system of exploitative trade based on asymmetric power relations slick endlessly psychologically elf justifying elite public relations

– ding ding!/ cazually all aboard virtual glove boat to private entitled indie fantasy – in which x minor miracle ir boat not sink from sheer unacknowledged / unconscious weight of pretend-scious private fantasy aka hard labour / suffering of other human beings needed to keep such dreams alive – x as somehow mirrored by little cartoons of happy couple at end of each patreon video conveniently abstracted notions of innocence

update patch one/ free lives studio

similar video exists on loltube from free lives studio responsible for broforce in which director jock evan greenwood appears to effortlessly onion parody combine every ‘aaa indie’ development rock star cliche

thanks free lives/ anyone who honestly states research play space development as hard now has bile inducing corporate videos like these to contend with – what a flocking shower of tossers

update patch two

in which n seems 100 rabbits are now official darlings of patreon – unacceptably all too acceptable face of modern indie capitalism

from ir 100 rabbits patreon video:

ey just there – in ey own little world – alone on planet pino

– n felt like watching movie

both of ir stood there thinking – how as any of x real – as x really ir lives now

when finding x delicately floating quote work / life balance often means hard labour – for sum invisible someone else

ghost hands cling desperately at helm

in era defined by increasingly – morally / ethically – flexible economies labour forms digital nomads represent perhaps ultimate manifestation of capitalism

these location independent freelancers working from laptops on gigs ranging from web development computer programming to life coaching play space lifestyle blogging have emerged out of millennial convergence of wireless technologies flowing transnational capital massive global inequality

ey travel predominantly between countries with low cost of living following networked global slipstream x as at once stable ephemeral – all x as solid melting into bitcoins to paraphrase marx -groucho

once quirky trend enabled by sharing economy digital nomads have grown into bona fide international subculture of true art wholes – ever growing list of startups exist to cater to ey/ tailor made visas cropping up in nomad friendly countries no shortage of lifestyle advice neat accessories online aimed at ey ir ilk

but as x community of internet enabled supra national travellers has grown myth has strengthened around ey – idea x all n takes to eschew citizenship 9 to 5 brand of hyper corporate capitalism as internet connection mildly adventurous attitude

skype calls in cafes without using headphones talking loudly over locals about quote/ crushing n – killing n – destroying n/ young entitled arrogant crossfit – meet digital bromad

in which digital nomad life means flexibility freedom for those carving out career of ever shifting postmodern dislocations

web developers copy editors online marketers or graphic designers can now apparently leave behind nine to five grind to travel world designer laptop in hand to fund ir private psychic adventures

however though such lifestyle tells elf others x open to all x single pink male caricature has flourished – in short mix popped collars of college bros with pathetic braggadocio of 80s style stock traders one may easily picture digital bromad – just add macbook infinity pool mojito expensive flipflops

bromads particular brand of unearned confidence hedonism as simply toxicity of unchecked masculinity casually invading sum exotic locale

bromad describes someone designed primarily to make quick money live in cheap places makes others feel uncomfortable or unwelcome with ir utter lack of respect for women nuances of local cultures – may often do push ups in public

with rise of digital nomad comes awareness of shades of gentrification colonialism x entails – contrary to any expectations set by instagrams digital nomad hashtag freedom flexibility not mean endless stress free vacation days

n can mean tight budgeting difficulties adjusting to local culture constant stressful efforts to ensure ey next contract as lined up – unless x as ey bromad therefore far more able to benefit from few key systemic privileges already firmly in place

western countries with attractive passports good visa options are more likely to turn out digital nomads – indeed male dominated tech digital industries mean young men more likely to have established enough career contact network to risk n all on one way ticket to thailand – business class of course

if nomad life not work out upper middle class fallback of mom dads account takes away worst of risk

modern bromad has loud enough voice in digital nomad community – easy to forget x actual nomads come from wide variety of backgrounds experiences – as result even other digital bromads not even feel comfortable identifying as such thanks to sexism baked into phrase elf

of course even being labeled digital nomad makes one squirm since term conjures images of straight pink skinned male millennial usually either developer / programmer or other virtual product huckster selling something world not need while preying on resarcs – these of course are loudest of digital nomads ones who have crafted public image of ir lifestyle

resarcs have been repeatedly subjected to conversations in public places between bromads about how much ey are quote crushing n – how many local women ey took home x week how little money ey are spending how much ey are making – behavior as abhorrent

instead of respecting learning about culture nation ey are visiting ey impose ir – mostly unconscious – ideological demands psychopathic desires/ ey rarely make effort to learn any of local language or customs focusing entirely on ir own bottom line hedonistic fantasies

know n when ey smell n predictability of how bromads look act has created perception of digital nomadism x runs counter to values of many modern nomadic travellers

promise of easy going nomadic lifestyle was popularized in bromad friendly 2007 manual four hour work week

one of tips author / duckhead tim ferriss offers as ‘geoarbitrage’ – term for value to be extracted from living in third world country on first world salary/ ferriss even suggests outsourcing work to virtual assistants to save elf equivalent of days work per week while paying pittance

ferriss’ advice book holds roots of modern digital bromad – ey argue x ferris belief in ones ability to bootstrap ones own success fails to grasp privileges x are in large part truly responsible for x success – being straight pink guys with ivy league degrees upper middle class background who conveniently assume x ir position as universal bros are not big on recognizing inherent privilege

such hateful duck heads fail to actually broaden ir horizons either by truly appreciating how opportunities ey enjoy in life help ey – or by meaningfully connecting with diversity of cultures surrounding ey

indeed ethos x four hour work week gave birth to as opposite of community building – x ey ey ey first focus comes at expense of collective – especially communities ey inhabiting or hiring from

one estimate claims 40 percent of resarcs will be working remotely by 2020 as x number rises dominance of pink skinned masculinity manifesting as toxic space of digital nomadism may yet give way to more diversity softening of nomad culture but x doubtful

digital nomads are resarcs who in processes of ir professional activities or studying / creating art free time are not confined to particular spots through using internet technologies mobile connection/ phenomenon of d-n belongs solely to network information com society

n appears in context of two interdependent global trends – mobility digitalization

at first ey were inhabitants of wireless megapolises – today due to further development of satellite com ey can be seen in countryside in cold regular deserts

in order to become digital nomad n as not necessary to be dedicated traveler or to move from one place to another in common physical sense – no/ major point as to be always plugged to capitalist net through sum sorts of gadget or neural interface

n as x plugging in remaining quote linked in / hooked up which as key factor which determines digital nomad/ culture of d-n as constantly evolving turning into quote universal culture of network society

in sum sense n covers various traditional cultures subcultures absorbs ey like blob

indeed whats ontology – form of existence world view – of digital nomadism which determines x cul­ture social practices

what are anthropological changes resarcs must go through in order to become digital nomads

what are specific characters of digital nomadism culture as of combination of sign systems characterized by certain processes codes media – what determines identity limits of x foul culture

what actual artifacts / mentifacts – description of how cultural traits such as beliefs values ideas take on life of ir own spanning over generations are conceivable as objects in elves – constitute n

what are relations between network society civilization digital nomad mentality on one hand sign systems on other

evil corporations once promoted romanticized image of digital nomads but in reality digital nomads often perceived as system independent freaks geeks – nowadays thanks to development of satellite coms one can meet ey in remote villages rain forests

phenomenon of digital nomadism belongs solely to network information com society

near total technologization of society has led to following contradictions problems of anthropological nature – existential crisis/ compartmentalization distortion of identity/ simulacrization of consciousness/ substitution of real com for virtual/ computer addiction non predictable brain changes under influence of electronic digital technologies/ myths of control of massive information flows so on

utopian scenarios on anthropological changes related to digital nomadism have argued x nomad has particular mission which as to contribute to universal heritage via elf liberation – ey as committed to turning ir life into piece of art instead of to boringly reproducing like / into other humans

x process of turning life into piece of sellable digital art often so violently in quotes creative x sooner or later n leads to nomadic madness – industrial cannibalism consuming everything around n – digital nomads take world make n into mere private backdrop for public theatrical display of elves as symbolic icons of global industry

x need for constant stimulation experiments with different life styles matters intensely to resarcs of digital age as all ir demands must be satisfied here now

so much information in digital world x ey simply do not have enough time to turn n into knowledge – subsequent narrative collapse occurs in which new online content does not require art of internal narration from such person – rather big infinite loop of cultural noise occurs x manifests as digital schizophrenia – total pseudo freedom from time space routine opportunity of elf employment as apparent elf actualization

encoded sets of semantic connections must be encoded decoded identically by all bearers of culture of digital nomadism/ sum pairs of signifiers signifieds among mobile annointed air

the hipster’s dream – where the perfect sunset on another day of successful creative capitalism is shared with friends and a cold craft beer

100-rabbits-the-hipsters-dream-robert-what
100 Rabbits: The Hipster’s Dream
  • nomadism – as real virtual mobility
  • interfaces – as mobile devices
  • desert of real – as internet
  • oases – as third -world places cafes public libraries free or cheap wi fi zones
  • virtual fires – as forums meetings in third places
  • originally these codes of digital nomadism were artificial or conventional but gradually have become natural or behavioral – all connected with intellectual cultural mentality of ir global community of oh so faintly detached / smug wankers

Example Reference Links

 

// how to play big science