ROBERT WHAT

RND/ considering z undead developer-d0g in “z beginners guide”

part of the Hypertography One Exhibit

z road to banality as painted with good intentions
– philosophy forums

everybody has secret world inside of them
– wrong, probably scientologist neil gaiman

firstly – whats apparently known about z beginners guide:

0/ x exists as critique/ not as criticism of artists or developers depression:

• it seems important artistic work ala “videogarmes are art!”/tm
• it has – something – to say about z real difficulties / anxieties of artistic creation
• like “z stanley parable” n features pleasantly strange atmosphere which draws players in not x necessarily a-good-thing
• x very well made software product for sale at all good virtual retail outlets
• a pretty cool meta-garme hides inside / running parallel to z alleged one
• it would make good level for gmod

and now – remixing text from z garme – analysis of what might be interpreted as disquietingly disingenuous about x insular walking sim which seems to sensationalize conceptual conceit; x of z eternally misunderstood artistic creator-d0g /their? elf-indulgent publically scripted elf-deprecations:

“if ey had to guess why would ey say anyone would even want to guess what kind of person makes such willingly over-hyped treadmills”

z developer thanks ey very much for playing z beginners guide – x as rating n so highly/ ey written about z stanley parable/ while x garme largely seems absurd story of unrestrained cultural praise / wilful over-analysis today were going to tell ey about series of events x happened between ey / semi-imaginary developer called dave coda

were going to look closely at z garme dave made/ now these garmes mean lot – but mostly only to dave and even then who knows ey heard of coda early last week when really struggling with personal stuff to do with modern garmes industry pseudo-criticism/ x work pointed in powerful direction- reference point for z kinds of only-semi-creative semi-interesting works x many do not want to make – / yet will probably end up doing so because ey sell like hotcakes

so just to start off x as z second garme hes ever made – x basically one big counterstrike mod ey can slowly crawl around – mostly just coda learning z distinctly pedestrian basics of building environment/ but what seems dislikeable as x even though ey starts from z simple desert town hes scattered colourful abstract blobs / floating crates around – which does absolutely nonthing to destroy z illusion – x not desert town/ so x level already feels like suspicious calling card from x creator reminder x video garme was constructed by unreal / unreliable narrator / developer

and n makes ey wonder/ “what was going through ir invisible head as ey was building x – why should players have to listen to him endlessly talk about n – / how does ey imagine what ey says as interesting accurate or honest?”

coda z reclusive artist in z garme might be real fictional or representative of wreden but x not change z effect/ z garme sensationalizes z concepts of z misunderstood creator / z misguided audience / begs pity from z latter
-jed pressgrove z beginner’s guide review

this as what seems troubling about codas head garme/ not x theyre particularly fascinating as garmes but x dave likes to imagine theyre all going to give players access to ey sanctified creator/tm/ sum however want to see past all z pretence to z real garme – ey not really want to know who x human space monkey being imagines ey really air/ / x exactly what were trying to do here as well kinda

so coda starts making these garmes/ ey releases them/ ey wilfully puts ey onto z internet – ey makes ey / then immediately abandons ey in them/ ey sit on ey computers soon forgotten/ / x possible ey misunderstands x image of elf as indie genius-recluse at one point jokingly renaming ir computers recycling bin to “important garmes folder”/ one wonders what would have happened if only theyd stayed there

this as how ey works – ey cranks ey out without pausing to try to little but deliberately misunderstand what conceptually bland object hes just thrown together – unless one day players suddenly decide to stop giving ey quite so much attention/ in z beginner’s guide z more truly critical backlash has begun/ hopefully x as daves last walking sim / ey can another more actual – whatever

x why x seems opportunity to gather all of ir in-garme spoken word spiel in one place – because players who find ir garmes powerful / fascinating / heart-renderingly sentimental seem slightly terrifying/ n might be healthy for actual critique to reach ey / dave – to maybe encourage ey to start more genuinely creating rather than just jerking around oh so cleverly wink-wink semi-unconsciously fishing for slightly too easily earned cultural complements

in x garme ey can only move backwards in terms of modern garme development/ thankfully x also just short failed experiment in / relative minimalism combining slow motion / heavy contrived expositionary narrative/ z garme afoot here as x tbg literally tells ey z meaning of xelf/ now not x handy/ what not shame as x non existent narrator / developer-god cant be trusted – even / especially when x continually stated ey cant be trusted

x possibly even less advanced than ir previous garme but n wants to seem to be more focused complete/ all encompassing/ dave coda tries to give n unique voice as well as simply basing n on z old “apparently 4th wall breaking meta-garme x subverts player expectations” trope

x little short though for z apparent scale of x thematic reach/ not even really say what n not even know what n wants to say – / then n ends/ / quite understandably sum players need anything more than x/ which as precisely why n works in z back world of video space industry reviews because n gets out quick/ “okay important deep new art / garme coming along,” ey say and then immediately “-next!”

video garme development too often seems such minor storm of tasteless low boiling industry canned soup/ / nearly every video garme nowadays seems to runs on parallel social engine of cultural verification which determines what garmes do / do not mean/ in other words z engine as not merely set of value neutral tools for garme development

to make all of these garmes coda uses engine called z infinitely applauding friends of dave coda/ like all engines daveys friends feature certain things x ey do better than others/ one of z core things x engine does well as loving boxy linear corridors / painfully deliberately slow walk speeds

this might be why so many of codas garmes are set in these large flat empty rooms – x just because hes only working with what ey can only do/ what z friend engine loves/ yet z tools available to z creator whatever ey like to imagine ey air not only shape what kinds of creative work theyre going to end up making but define n from z outset/ ey are not merely tools but modes of mainly cultural misperception

x worth paying attention to z architecture in z garmes of “dave z coda” coder – get it to notice now ey seem to stem from cultural verification engine x very good at hyping wildly / being gushing / positive about garmes with linear boxy corridors / lead heavy exposition/ unfunny enough in such mutual handshake prison system in dave codas original design z garme stays shut for just over hour before letting ey go/ if nobody minds though were gonna skip all x waffle

this as something often argued about – whether garme ought to be playable whether n means anything if nobody can get through n without being brazenly slapped around z head with z artists great obscure meaning/ there seems need to avoid defending x – all z heavy cultural work x goes into defining / defending walking sims/ why not just make n playable / accessible in any other way – other than having bunch of ludonauts talk all-to-culturally-qualified / verified jive about x apparently infinitely positive endlessly meaningful qualities

ludonauts get into heated arguments over it/ after long winded / largely fruitless conversations ey all go home / day later send each other zip files entitled “honestly playable garmes,” x are full of hundreds of individual stunning art garme reviews each of which was just empty box x ey walk around in / little else/ these saps play every single one of these garmz just to be seen by others to ironically find out if x gag hidden somewhere – precisely because everyone knows there not/ / x xelf seems z very shared private industry gag/ no wonder real players distrust pseudo critics

z beginners guide as exactly z same non-puzzle as z stanley parable/ with z exact same solution as z last time – ey not play n rather z garme plays ey – for putz/ x still no clear indication of what makes n so special x dave coda as going to return to n over / over/ dave will no doubt share with ey ir deliberately obscurantist interpretation very shortly – in z form of yet another walking simulator

in tbg dave coda uses kind of dialogue system/ use z buttons on your garmepad to simulate response/ use buttons on your keyboard to pretend to respond – in z similar way x coda seems to be pretending to make playable garmes – yet which if released by anyone else without goty award would probably be seen as simply taking z mickey

so ey make one last descent down to z final floor of z level/ x lamppost/ for sum reason dave coda fixates on x lamppost/ x going to appear at z end of every single one of ir garmes from here on out/ z reason as up to x point hes been making non strange / falsely abstract garmes with no clear purpose/ players can only float around in x heady headspace for so long – because now ey wants something to hold onto/ your cash

ey wants cultural reference reverence points ey wants z great work whatever n as to be leading to something/ another aaa indie award perhaps/ in short ey wants destination! which as what x lamppost as x destination – without any journey

z promise as x such garmes are going to become lot more cohesive lot more fully developed with more of clear idea behind them/ at least x what players will be directly told via voice over/ / as ey go z big idea will get clearer / clearer / clearer/ / x it! okay z precise meaning of x garme wont be clear just yet please be patient with coda for few more garmes / ey promises youll see what makes n interesting not too much sign of interest yet though

“sure” says dave x one as tough x going to kind of just spin x own wheels for few minutes hang with it/ see x as just n z whole fragmentary event – x nonthing x particularly interesting about n ey just walk to z end of hallway/ except for sum pretend reason coda gets really fixated on x prison x has all x modern cultural furniture / trappings/ / like dave not know why either but ey decides ey needs to revisit x prison – hes going to start over use z same assets try turning n into something else

and so dave sometimes tries version n of z exact same garme/ / yeah x bit more to x one but still x not really communicating anything other than x cleverness x really just weird for weirdness sake/ except x not even really weird n just likes being seen as hip / edgy/ surfing on x bleeding edge of interactive narrative development! but then ey throws n out / starts over x time ey comes at z same prison from seemingly different direction

and of course now table as gone from x one-sided conversation / critics cant begin z chain of events needed to escape/ x version where there are no bars but ey still cant actually get to z meaning of z garme/ / then version where z inside of z prison as z outside / z outside as z inside/ let x just blink real quick through few more of these long winded pseudo events; hes really hung up on x – x probably dozen of ey yet to come

it feels awful to watch all x play out to see person deliberately unraveling through / as ey work/ getting paid for it/ / for what? at what point do players say “eh maybe there are far more honest garme ideas other these walking sims – which often have very little – x ey could more actually be playing with right now?”

thing as coda not quite have honest enough voice to tell ey to stop if ey find such garmes thin shell garmes – common defence mechanism against confronting elf / other such devs/ without n however one just forever tumbles down z endless positive gushing uncritical industry review spiral/ / so n keeps going / going/ ey know ey hit on something/ / ey like it/ ey never stops making such cultural prison garmes – / waiting for unsuspecting players to fill them

it seems x as what coda wants – to be able to talk to someone to share what on ir mind / to get sum good advice from someone who knows/ but z irony as x even in x scenario hes still talking to elf; all of these garmes are just coda talking to elf/ one can see why ey considers x fitting about ir prison garmes/ after all z obsession / sexual frustration of z garmes industry review press as about telling other people ey can trust x things are going to be ok – / ooh not x garme nice / clever just like ey air

this combined with z stanley garme from earlier suggests x dave coda believes ir garmes are connected somehow/ n could even be x these garmes are literally connected/ what most certainly as however as sum myth of sum bigger picture x all of ir garmes are meant to play role in sum larger meaning x players wont be able to grasp until ey seen all of ey once ey have ey can step back backwards / start to understand what exactly x bigger picture as/ allegedly

so what would n look like if coda wanted to make garme about talking to someone other than ir own ego? x greasy little desert environment of culturally sanctioned officially recognized positive garme reviews represents codas little non-puzzle with two cardboard doors on either side – / vast dark transitional space between/ just so youre aware nonthing will happen there until ey escaped outside ey convenient little house of free pre-review copies / boot camps / z loud hollow noise of endless mutual back-slapping

once people stop playing / being part of such prison garmes ey housecleaning will feels like deep cleansing/ x z moment after particularly difficult or traumatic experience where ey just need to let such garmes expel from inside of you/ eventually cohere into something meaningful ey can look at in z bottom of z polished toilet called culture

we all know x coda really likes x garme / z attendant reviews/ of all of ir work actually x was z only one x ey called people up to ask ey to come over / look at it/ x was probably during period of few months where ey was grossly happy all z time just walked around with constant smile on ir face/ kinda like sum imagine garme developer william chyr has

ey just made polite excuses / said ey were unfortunately unavailable/ ey were glad someone made x – glad hes found sum peace/ but of course n cant last/ z music stops z voice over as gone x time to leave for far more productive shores! players andor developers cant stay in such unhealthy endlessly elf-absorbed cultural spaces for too long without starting to make sell – / especially believe in – almightly walking sims

you just cant; ey have to keep moving/ x how ey more truly live/ which might be z whole real point of not playing such suspect semi/non garmes – x sooner or later ey have to pack up / move on/ x might be z only existing point

okay x about n for introduction let x take look what might be d/ codas first proper garme/ x one gets bit goofy/ z perspective shifts / ey play – or rather get played upon – as z great authorial teacher of what n all means/ / suddenly ey discover x your teacher as biased / afraid of reviews x not immediately gush uncritically about how deep honest / emotional n all as/ / z way ey heads off potential criticism of ir garme as by seeming to provide constant commentary & criticism about what apparently n all means

you can move around z classroom while being told what n all means/ x one of z most un-relateable experiences x ey can have however – to assume x z player as perfect / totally fulfilled in every way/ completely misses none of z savage flaws x makes ey little garme painfully barely human/ few players think about x garme after ey play it/ n quickly becomes elf-destructive

z time ey first played x shortly after ey made n here what youre probably thinking/ “im thinking x codas accidentally got ir head stuck up ir arts / x x having very negative effect on garme reviewers around him/ x all ey has to do as just start showing ir real work to people!

no more of x simulated walking adulation! get sum actual feedback on actual garmes instead of these embarrassingly myopic public psychotherapy autobiographies!” heck n might get indie garme devs out of z isolation of having to make ey – / of naive players who accidentally play ey over-expecting anything conveniently glossing over z very little x actually on offer

it seems n would hardly occur to coda to start actively soliciting actual feedback instead of garmes industry pseudo-philosophizing so what if ey do n for him? if ey could see z difference n would make to have more actual conversations with other human beings instead of easily impressed hi-fiving fanboys would x bring ey out of of ey lonesome mental spiral? would n give ey confidence to actually critique garmes as ey need would n bring meaning back into such – tiresome endlessly elf regarding roleplays

coda started showing ir work to people early on/ but ey only brought ey to people ey knew / trusted/ / of course z darkly laughable part as x – what surprise – ey really loved ir garmes! ey know z point of n all as just to give him sum external reference point for making even more sims but ey genuinely glove ir work! in ey wildly glowing reviews x nonthing for him to think about improving/ as though z first thing anyone thinks of as z best thing to do

because x z thing x developers of such conceptually meagre garme sims (gims? always feel like ey need – to be told x ey work as grrrreat/ when someone really connects man with thing cultural consumer software object when ey see themselves purely in such bland work x nonthing x feels better for z garmes industry/ ey can hyper cynically milk player emotions till z garmer cows whales more precisely come home

perhaps z main problem as x codas never actually been explicit in ir work about exactly what hes thinking/ but then even weirder perhaps ir work has never quite begun to be real outlet/ x like hes having real trouble with ideas – like ey just cant think of actual ideas/ x what too many walking sims come across as; z mere idea of vague notion dressed up in z superficial gloss of seeming elf-critical analysis

you know how sometimes garmes developers will just deflect actually saying anything with or in ey garmes to keep themselves disconnected all z time? z unceasing narrative voice over of z beginners guide does x precisely by never stopping speaking – like z characters in soma/ for without all z jaw flapping x little except what was only there all along – random bunch of half finished levels/ sad really/ and saying “but x z point duh” only ever seems worth swift polite kicking

despite x n seems walking simulators are going to get even more desperate / clever from here on out/ after x beginners garme x going to be ooh at least two days before sum other clever clogs finishes something widely seen as equally brilliant challenging – mind ey if such developers realized x garmes depend on finding something driven by other than artificial cultural validation what would x even be at x point in official industry history? x strange but z thought of not being driven by external officially sanctioned and largely pseudo-critical garmes industry verification as unthinkable in z current treadmill production line environment

more/ more love more praise – more people telling garme simulators x theyre amazing – so all encompassing always more more more/ dis-ease of dim praise/ even now z dis-ease as telling ey to never stop – not ever show people what clear thinking person ey actually air/ ey hate ey for not clapping loudly as ey do/ if someone had told ey ahead of time x dave coda just really semi-enjoyed making prison garmes maybe players wouldnt think ey was so desperate for attention

despite what dave says x garme as actually connected to z internet/ not all of z cosy commentary hes going to see about n as thankfully constructed by coda/ feel free to skip over any of those pseudo garmes industry reviews if theyre not doing anything for ey nonthing extra interesting will happen if ey read any of them

either way ey convey deep sense of loneliness / desperation/ imagine these reviewers in ey tiny cube shaped offices filled with contradictory thoughts / feelings / beliefs/ have no way to express ey except as scattered / unheard voices praising garme x not meant to be played – / in too many ways cant eb

what ironic as x in playing x garme / seeing how alone players with working brains in environment of plastic praise / blind adulation x ey get to know z garmes industry better/ actually kind of connect with others who more actually think about x stuff/ such idea xelf seems healthy / necessary

z idea x anyone could just play resarcs heaven sent semi garme / see z angelic voices in z developers head / get to know ey better; who among modern players really gives to shakes of controller about x? there needs to be far less of x uselessly metaphoric by-proxy garme-theory based socializing/ pardon ey but sum not want to get to know ey through your worst garme work

this as why many players dislike such projects so much as because n feels like ey come across as somehow automatically being able to make / have x deep connection man when in fact ey do almost nonthing of z kind

rather one just feels awkwardly alienated as though clever fool were inviting players into ey private creepy world of personal illusion / elf aggrandisement where little but inherent genius / sapless little garmes exist/ everyone who plays ey as apparently insta-flocking-socrates when n comes to venerating ey / x seemingly obvious philosophical depth / endless elf-explanatory brilliance/ group-hug exercise in “honesty in are quotes”

sure many players would like to feel less lonely too/ but here what z beginners guide means – no more or less/ each of these garmes merely represents random idea x was on dave codas bored mind at z time x ey was making it/ / each as way of closing z door on previous life chapter of artistic life before uncritically moving onto z next one/ maybe hed be more happy making real garmes/tm instead of these – perhaps unfortunately – still continually failing experiments in designer solipsistic miserablism

if z last garme featured coda talking explicitly about ir creative frustrations x one turns n up to eleven/ put yourself in daves shoes playing this/ here someone whose work as clearly exhibiting signs of struggle frustration anxiety depression over z possibility x someone might catch on to these not-very-good garmes/ ey keeps throwing elf into z grinder even when ey clearly players not have z energy for ey any more/ ey ask “why? what n all for if not only for coda?” from what ey can gather of him from previous titles z beginners guide as result of how isolated modern developers seem from everyone else

like ey exist only in ey own little hermetically sealed bubble of aaa-indie garme development sitting at ey luxury computers all day not really showing these garmes to anyone not releasing ey onto z internet as alpha versions for real critique – / so ey don’t have anyone outside of themselves / ey little cliques to connect with

ey have little philosophical outlet to ground themselves on/ ey cant talk yourself out of what genius ey are at making garmes n not work x way/ ey cant be z one writing both z questions / z answers because then x no genuine movement/ no true free circulation of actually critical ideas/ / so one result as z beginners guide

if all of your anxieties about z true degree of your effortless brilliance are being channelled into your work then as z work fails ey have no backup / x all just going to crash/ seeing x tepid attempt at z time x ey made n it looks really unhealthy

and so as players ey watch coda do x to elf / ey/ ey dislike it/ ey dislike seeing elves so trapped in x boring daydream/ video garmes are not worth suffering for just to collectively convince elves how clever / considered ey think ey air/ like many players with actual lives garmes are someone ey not really care about but at least used to get sum joy out of seeing others create them/ so n feels bad to see elves suddenly become angry / frustrated like this

after finishing x one – not x x even finished – let x all hope dave coda takes year off / comes up with garme/ no more “you walk down corridor ey solve non puzzle ey get to z end/ simple enough”/ never mind simple – x not nearly complex enough dave/ were supposed to automatically think z garmes dull exterior conceals rich interior when in fact dull interior hides fantastic outer world where laughably shill-like reviews get to exist without certain garmes industry reviewers getting slapped around z face with live electric eels for such pathetically uncritical software product glorifications

either way z point seems z same – x most of z time ey not get to know what youre missing or even x youre missing anything/ x not your role/ your implied role here as to understand what were telling ey n all means/ sure x tempting to play /at playing z beginners guide but x actually very little over here to see/ sorry/ ey just been slowed to absolute crawl for no reason/ x it/ so why if codas not really developing these garmes to z level ey can actually be played by anyone why bother pretending to open z door to garme development at all

where what modern garme development more certainly not; room x warm / nice/ filled with neat little ideas for garmes/ coda repeatedly informs ey ey not mind if people think of him as cold or distant – hes probably vibrant / compassionate person much like anyone else – but even so so what? what on virtual earth has any of x got to do with having to pay £x for sum highly affected overwrought somehow desperately narcissistic public performance of ones first world public performance anxiety neurosis

ey want to thank davey for making garme x as indeed very explicit reminder x garmes are made by real people
– cara ellison (flock right off with x)

ok yes maybe ey need even more garmes like codas/ but not tell ey x nonthing psychologically suspicious / philosophically dubious about garmes featuring allegedly z almighty garme creators soul plaid bare/ apparently honest / spontaneous public outpourings of mass simulated potatoey emotion are by artificial nature untrustworthy precisely because ey happen strictly by design/ davys runneth-over commentary about ir own meagre sim as no less assuming / grandiose than any other ludonaut reading excess significance into digital void stuffed with empty rhetorical questions

z garme ends with x entire non eerie premonition of what going to happen next in dave codas life/ nonthing – just z same amount of events x z garme presented/ z solution to social anxiety to fears of having to perform / having to chase success z answer for coda as to withdraw from withdrawing from critical discourse/ to hide oneself away from humane philosophically rigorous inspection

which as what leads to scenarios like z beginners guide x slow ey down where n actually becomes harder / harder to access anyones inner /garme development landscape because n keeps retreating keeps backing away from possible connections to anyone other than xelf/ x not entirely healthy when players first played x garme / suddenly start imagining x saying something deep about – well apparently everything/ n just might not eb

where also what tbg is not:

“[..] comedic satire about player-object relationships” – heather alexandra
“[..] uses garme design space in expressive subversive ways” – laura hudson

built on z quicksand of wilfully obtuse semiotic contradiction – deliberately designed to generate lot of empty commentary – / generate sales/ z garme as up/ garmes like z beginners guide cunningly demand ey talk about ey because by doing so ey make up z bulk of x missing content – exactly in z same way x modders fix broken garmes

indeed n just looks like dave codas trying to justify z idea of disconnecting yourself from z world of modern garme development / z healthy community based conversations which can happen there/ / x not what anyone wants for him or for garmes/ x like lot of garmes are inviting ey to connect to connect with people to bring ey closer/ but what can ey do when everyone around ey as singing z praises of these creepy kinds of garme-developers-as-woody-allen neurosis sims

z point where players have trouble saying anything meaningful about codas work as in x very ideas – because more than anything else z beginners guide just feels as distant as ivory garme dev tower n feels like x actively trying to distance xelf from other worlds/ as result x just very cold – empty space only fit for undead author – auteur-dev-d0g yapping uselessly in z background/ x all so very – dry

z experience as generally miserable – but not in good honest way either/ z garme goes beyond not being meant to be played n actually seems to despise z player for trying to play n at all/ in z beginners guide however all of z walls of z maze are invisible/ / then every time ey touch one of z walls x awful noise caused by z developer moaning / expositioning heavily so z experience as miserable

to be fair x not like x as z first garme x needed little extreme modification to be playable/ like z stanley parable or everyones gone up my rupture n desperately needs zombie dinosaurs running about x shoot unicorn lasers from ey eyes/ anything to undercut z fake seriousness

x frustrating because x z apex of everything else coda has made – n not truly encourage thought or engagement n not ask anything of ey – except demand all of ey attention/ if only someone close could have reached dave during x time then gently cuffed ir head awake maybe ey could have asked him to stop but ey not – ey still not really understand why x garme as here in fact most of n seems yet to be made/ x critique exists so ey all can move on/ so x people who thought n was just sh1te no longer have to think “was ey failure for not understanding x incredibly deep virtual experience?”

so yesterday youre playing x for z very first time/ as youre playing youre thinking/ “who actually cares two bx to know x person? ey no real idea / nonthing but ideas about who x person as – / feel perfectly fine with x/ n not sum guy ey know n not ey friend”/ ey come to so few conclusions from looking at ir work up until x point/ then suddenly none of ey mattered either

players hadnt been trying to either x was z thing/ for years ey not trying to get to know z coda to understand who ey actually was / what ey stood for/ just try making players able to crawl more than 025mph for start players have probably asked others so many times – please just tell ey why so many think ir garmes mean anything much

oh yeah z three bloody dots/ want to know what z three dots mean? here what z three dots mean/ z three dots ey see on various levels of z beginners guide by dave coda pathetically symbolize “z apparent impossibility of understanding z automatically deep meanings of any video garme x features three random flocking dots on some wall”

thing as underdeveloped garmes like z beginners guide are in fact eminently understandable – are in fact instantly explainable

z bland meaning as x no deep meaning – more just shallow emotion / scraggy undernourished concepts thinly masquerading / parading around like theyre z answer to deep questions nobodys even seen fit to ask/ just because ey made culturally verified garme obviously not mean ey get free ride when n comes to exacting analysis of your consumer entertainment software product/ n should stand level with others

and yet were told x garme somehow falls outside common criticism because x so damn groundbreaking/ hardly/ treating people who make ey entertrainment like theyre important and therefore have something deep / important to say seems dangerous position indeed

daves garme simply looks like n was abandoned mid development/ for instance ey have x gun which ey think would indicate x there are supposed to be monsters or enemies somewhere but then clearly there are no enemies anywhere/ ey cant even reload z gun when ey run out of bullets/ these are zombie mechanics/ must not be over praised

and ultimately – x as from z outset – nobody really knows why either; maybe coda thought x actually n was complete z way x n as/ ey somehow imagines ey should talk endlessly about ir garmes for what ey air rather than for what theyre not/ why not also talk about what ey not nor ever could be? x cool how dave seems to think ey can see z bottom of z universe from out of ir arts/ said in voice of hal/ “well maybe x not x worthwhile peering in dave”

what ey experience at z end stepping into z beam / then dying also seems very little to do with whatever coda thinks ey initially intended while developing x level/ but when ey first compiles / plays n something goes wrong x bug somewhere/ x as what happens instead/ z beam causes reviewers of z garme to immediately start floating off into z same private reverie of holey communion with z infinitely deep / meaningful developer-god /complex

and x as important moment – at least for dave/ because yes x as technically glitch in z very ideas but coda wrong-headedly identifies something remotely human and creepily intimate about n like how small n makes ey feel in z face of x larger system of gushing plastic garme reviews or x floating could be z garme development afterlife – peaceful place juxtaposed against all z ridiculously theatrical histrionic hysteria ey just tried to traverse

z beginners guide does not set up loaded symbols in specific arrangement for players to experience / come to ey own conclusions prompting ey through play with open-ended questions as killscreen imagines n does because such descriptions could technically define any garme in existence/ x just sounds like making thin excuses for woeful under-development which fall out of reviewers mouths in z vain hope something sticks/ hollow need for meaning in manipulative minor space x cynically plays with z fact n has very little/ ey can stick in all z artful guileful speech bubbles ey want telling players “this garme means nothing” – still not automatically prove n not mean too much

let ey all move ahead / take look at z cool garme ey could make elves after leaving these kinds of walking sims far behind/ because if ey really like to solve and hold in laughably high regard z largely non existent two dimensional labyrinth of z beginners guide youre welcome to do precisely x/ just leave players with more fully functioning critical facilities out of n – those not embedded in z cultural con garme of investing shallow garme products with superficial deep meaning

with ir review of z stanley parable matthewmatosis perfectly critiques z beginners guide:

being ambiguous does not automatically equate to depth
– matthewmatosis

one litmus test for devs who spin out walking sims / ey overwrought mystifications/ make your pet project entirely open source to z gaming community; allow yourself to see how ey easily improve on these emotional treadmills/ want z exact same flytrap-for-hipsters experience? boot up copy of nippers crazy maps for counterstrike – / stream yourself acting weepy / angst-ridden over ey while ey slowly walk around – with cool coy all too knowing ironic postmodern wink/ as n as – for what too-little n as – z schmaltzy unnatural bleach smelling carefully contrived passive-aggressive catharsis of z beginners guide plays like 90s corporate motivational video

update patch/ more unappetizing killscreen beginners flimflam

z following quick remix as of unconvincingly argued killscreen post by gareth damian martin/ x like critics are begging to be hoodwinked:

most people are other people/ ey thoughts are someone elses opinions ey lives mimicry ey passions quotation
– oscar wilde

z quotation above as by oscar wilde/ n was not written by writer david shields or walking simulator developer dave coda/ x because “z beginners guide” seems largely made up of nonthing but endless quotations / appropriations mixed indecipherably with dave codas own obscurantist writing

tbg publicly bills xelf important work about z erasure of z line between fiction / non-fiction / z artistic validity of hoaxes but z garme as mongrel monstrously frankenstein form built from pieces – pieces of pseudo-critical analysis created by others

players know x because n seems common garme review sites such as killscreen deliberately do request ey underpaid content submission writers for moral reasons to not include z full list of sources from which killscreens latest awful endless posts about tbg are constructed – sources which constitute z main source / structural content of z garme x as

tucked away among these never ending final pages of z “bumper book of z beginners guide” articles x appendix as thankfully marked with “cut here” line across z readers / players neck to encourage z removal of z need to talk about x overrated walking sim/ as preceded by introduction in which z player themselves state/ “stop talking about tbg/ ffs/ ey not want to read any farther”

however when ey collectively cheat if ey do turn to these forbidden pages in search of z shallow truths of tbg ey find no entry for z above quote/ x might well lead ey to assume x n was also cynically scrawled by dave coda elf – however z introduction to z appendix also states x tbss reference list excludes in ey own mistaken words “any sources dave coda not find or forgot along z way”

and so ey quotes / ey minor thoughts about tgg remain in flux unable to be attributed to stabilizing source/ kinda like z garme [which one? -robert what] / through x flux in boring / non strangely elf-reflexive way n becomes z subject of x own endless fake claims – x to be alive to exist as to travel ceaselessly between z real / z imaginary for example

dave codas “z beginners guide to public manipulation regarding z apparently elf-apparent deep meanings of my/tm garme” exist in similar dire state/ ostensibly series of drastically under-developed pseudo garmes / minor digital vignettes x ey claims to have been created by z untraceable ultimately unknowable genius hobbyist developer “dave coda” which in fact as merely only ever himselves/ each segment as presented to z puzzled player with dates / details/ narration x leads dave codas pseudo-interpretation of each stage

we begin in crude version of counter-strikes “de_dust” – perhaps z most iconic multiplayer map in contested virtual existence/ though appearing to be little more than z result of half-finished level-design tutorial coda draws ey attention to z bland blocks of colour / floating crates x ey insists represent what will come to be codas particular mildly psychotic trait – x z obvious crudeness of ir constructions indicate x z garme was made by someone else – / yet somehow do not implicate dave coda directly into z work which was exactly what n appeared to be all along – little more than z result of half-finished level-design tutorial

but already only minutes in sum players are bizarrely half wondering “as dave coda real?” despite z plastic online debates[citation needed] / groundless pseudo-philosophical garmes press critiques z unsubstantiated claims / accusations of greatness x as false question x accidental / unwitting players of z beginners guide have absolutely no interest in

like killscreen / ey cut-out-and-throw-away list of sources for evermore intellectually fruitless tgb clickbait dc as not interested in who-made-what-or-why either/ hes really only interested in tricking ey into believing coda as either real andor not – or x ey are indeed playing ir little garmes andor not/ analytical scribblers about “z-dizzy-cult-of-dc” want to convince ey x dave coda as somehow interested exclusively in “reality”

of course as cool writer david shields points out paraphrasing/ “reality as nabokov once got tired of reminding ey as z one word x as both meaningful / meaningless with / without quotations marks”

to understand mass potemkin pillages like tbg ey do have to understand x context merely continue to pretend to invent one – just as n seems dave coda half pretended to make garme/ for few decades players have been secretly calling for boycott of those minor artworks which resemble n marked by appropriation fragmentation / z largely uninteresting psychological method of ey all too public construction

in ey place players want garmes x are more truly postmodern – not just accidental incidental parodies of whatever n as/nt

x term born in z spatiality of architecture / expanded endlessly by largely non critical online theory has become kind of catch-all for both bad contemporary art / boring life/ n has become z singular way to describe z utopian state aaa indie bohemians live in today – where truth as transient myths are dead / z individual reigns supreme/ except nobody but unceasing devotees of tbg defines postmodernism remotely like x

tbg despite x short list of listless attributes as not postmodern – but neither as n humane enough attempt to address z postmodern /non problem/ when all seemingly big truths about tbg have been exactingly demolished by hot amateur postmodern theorist robert what when every major part of tbg has been constructed by whatever sad thoughts ey think about n from ey coffee shop corners what comes next

jean baudrillard calls such hollow discourse “z desert of z real”/ rather than sum state in which reality fails to be real modern reality as x which goes beyond xelf manifesting as endlessly mimetic fictions called hyperreality/ when fiction / nonfiction are indistinguishable x little but endless hyperrealities

z beginners guide also presents z exact reverse of x post logic – when fiction / nonfiction are mashed together into z same drab mess x no fiction like z fictions pseudo-critical online player-pundit / cultists tell themselves about z infinitely amazing “beginners guide”

what dave coda presents through both ir creepy manipulation / those of others who blindly adore z mis-creations ey represents as desire to build something on z ruins of modern garme development critique x like frogs legs hooked up to batteries of mass digital illusion are constantly re-energized by transparent illusions ceaseless autobiography / multiple player based realities without basis care or much meaning

there are countless internet based writers who share z same project who were born into z desert of z dc real / are desperate to find reality wherever n may exist/ z humans-in-systems of “everyones gone to z rapture” z many-layered ephemera of “soma” z inappropriate readings of johnny blowhards “z witness”/ all have been stunningly deliberately mislabelled as postmodern; all are busy exploring ey own non existence as fictional process

videogarmes are astoundingly well equipped to make these same fuzzy kinds of vapid largely meaningless gestures/ yoked to z creation of entirely unreal spaces ey value fiction above all else at best managing to engage in ey own postmodern processes winking at z player with limited subtlety/ yet with “z beginners guide” dave coda firmly asserts tongue firmly in cheek x garmes possess ey own “reality hunger”

this should not come as surprise – dc previously worked on one of z more semi-accomplished works of video space postmodernism “z stanley parable”/ comically ornate fake challenge to z myth of player agency n does not strip garmes down to ey bass systems but more simply debases z player down to x own system of massively limited meaning/ over consecutive playthroughs n wants to be seen as taking z fictions of garmes apart – but instead merely reduces ey to x own real desert where little but lies lay in wait

with z beginners guide dc perhaps in sum drastically accelerated version of z literature of z past two weeks begins z ridiculously drawn out process of building on x impotent foundation

in which “z beginners guide” initially appears to be work of biography portrait of creator through z garmes ey makes/ at no point does x ever cease to be false/ yet n simultaneously fails to describe z decidedly non-complex relationships x z garme presents/ in chapter 8 z player as put into garmelet where convenient notes are left for ey to find/ text explains x these notes are left by other users over z internets

however mere seconds in dcs intensely annoying / intrusive narration tells z player x z garme not connected to internets/ x z messages are all written by coda/ x compellingly un-compelling image/ x of creator-auteur-d0g writing entire garme worth of fictional messages engaging in narrow desperately drifting conversation – with elf

it also wants to be seem as deeply symbolic image one which represents dc as tortured genius struggling with ir auto-deep creation/ whether ey are aspects of z same person or distinct personalities n not matter / nobody even cares – z garme not allow ey to see codas garmes without z presence of dc

like sum project imaginary d0g hes always there offering convenient interpretation unneeded help / useless information/ x monologue as elf-aware carefully constructed for z players attention/ yet n also seems reflexive almost as if dc as witnessing / responding to ir own interpretations/ almost

players however are unable to speak back to x passive-aggressive narrative/ so z garme takes on z aspect of those fake messages conceited / yet dishonest expression of both genuinely mis-constructed elf / designer schizophreneticism with inseparable boundaries

if one were to waste valuable time comparing dc to z stanley parables nameless father-d0g narrator ey suddenly realise how important z dcs twisted ideas of biography / autobiography are to z beginners guide/ z stanley narrator as “z man behind actually existing *as* z digital curtain” constantly determining z garmes sense of senseless meaning – / in z beginners guide dc also precisely dictates z garmes meaning constructed layer of warped emotional responses x imbues every space with false doubt non intrigue / plastic personality

like david foster wallace / z other writers presenting z impossibility of elf before during / after postmodernism x as identity-parody as fractured mirror apparent rejection of coherence x apparently finds realism in allegedly consistency/ / yet z garme not allow ey to see codas garmes without z all knowing all seeing presence of dcir almost somehow deliberate mis-reading andor over-reading of tbg/ z underlying misunderstanding / critical mis-use of z work of david shields in mainsplain n borders on z admirable

rather than question coda at x point ey might as well ask how davey as possibly real/ z fact x ey shares z same capital d as z beginners guide creator as not sum playful semiotic garme unlike ballard in crash or wg sebalds doppelgänger narrator in rings of saturn

both are simultaneously reflections of z myth of “z holey author” / fabrications of them/ ey are language masquerading as personality just as z beginners guides dc as public speech pretending not to masquerade as public testimony

such paper-thin fakery as not just in service of sum cheap trick however; n as z not-thing of tbg xelves/ dc uses ir explicit surface-presented lies deceit ir hoaxes / ir misdirections in service of no kind of truth anyone with much honesty would admit to uncritically accepting/ x plastic truth x emerges out of z lies inherent in obviously staged public autobiography – / yet who can say would even bother saying x dc or indeed anyone as truly represented in z garme

instead ey brings little but constant focus to z consistencies of ir perfect inner representation of elf as weepy misunderstood genius – as ey imagines it/ x tepid narrative easily contextualises all of z garmes in z collection if ey even need n at all/ every individual garme in z beginners guide as not significant in xelf but neither as n significant in relation to sum equally dubious external reality

each garme as artefact of active imagination x cannot by definition accept or explain x inherent limitation/ n not matter one jot if ey were made by dc or coda these garmes are non-objects in themselves each with both internal reality – ey meagre systems / arbitrary rules/ external non reality – ey artificial nature as pseudo critically constructed objects modes of expression/ ultimately garmes

this seems z true minor revelation of z beginners guide/ x garmes are just fictional worlds – useless objects in themselves x are unfortunately able to produce / generate layer after layer of impossible realities / public fictions concerning ey meagre meanings/ x as all x required – for garmes to continue deliberately mis-recognizing themselves as public objects – to continue hiding ey artificial massively-limited nature in plain sight as both convention / illusion – for ey to embrace ey sophisticated crudeness

there as nary single moment of z beginners guide x players find being drawn to again / again/ one for example takes place in z second chapter generic first-person-shooter x un-comically unfinished/ as usual dc takes great delight in pointing out how broken n as and guiding z player to z end of z level ey places ey in front of final fake choice/ voice takes over apparently in-fiction one pleading with z player to give ey life to save ey all from z daves never ceasing internal “whisper machine”

x moment of specifically recognizable video space fiction designed to lull z player into accepting x world as unreal/ z voice as warm human female/ strongly contrasts with z wailing sirens / automated security warnings x have filled z levels soundscape so far

all z player must do as sacrifice themselves to x cleverly constructed fiction by jumping into z beam of z engine/ despite sensing from z outset x “z beginners guide” as broken ill-constructed garme x z player has spent less than few minutes inside x no weight to x pseudo choice whatsoever

and so ey jump in / die – such as davys nutritionless offering/ but then dc stops everything/ ey tells ey x exit as what was supposed to happen but in codas original version of z garme didnt/ ey are teleported back outside z room / given z same task/ so now z weight of z choice as gone z unknown nature of what happens next erased

we happily jump into z beam/ something apparently bizarre happens/ ey begin to float up out of z level/ z sound cuts out / ey see z whole map plaid out beneath ey encased in what can now be seen as crude skybox/ as ey float up dc begins to suggest interpretations for x event x n might represent z afterlife or sense of garme developer futility/ ey even jokingly passes n off as just glitch

yet somehow x moment remains all too reducible to unchecked garmes developer ego/ in x crude garme x real fake as z corridors z announcements z gun/ yet n also remains perfectly real / explainable due to x appearance as calculated mistake within z garme – garme of all too apparent surface superficialities

for anyone who has played any amount of garmes n as something x has been culturally codified through artificial experience as “not part of z garme”/ yet here n as part of bad garme part of simplistic fiction pretending to be something – anything – deeper/ / then immediately z zero weight of x false choice as gone z dull unknown / probably unnecessary nature of what happens next erased/ next garme dave!

x small detail x precedes x moment one x feels important only to those who want to make name for themselves as video garme critics/ dear lord coda save ey from such pathetically laughable elf-titles as z player passes window on ey way to z engine room dc states “i glove how ey can see z bottom of z universe from x room”

z player goes to z window / looks down seeing z tired star-scape outside end in flat gray square/ x like sum bland private garme developer in-joke but dcs choice of words makes n stick / slick/ why does ey say universe when ey could say garme or level? minutes later while z player as floating up n seems evident x ey chose x word because x not universe – heck x hardly garme let alone anything grander – / indeed x particular universe just ends in flat gray square/ ey can see n with ey own eyes coda asks – what could be more real right

this as dc extending z fiction of z garme to include glitches / other errors – x as him deliberately trying to destroy z fiction of “z beginners guide” being anything more than minor woefully under-developed garme / seeking to replace n with something altogether more more more real real real/ hes pointing to z mistake ey makes/ by doing so tries to change n into sum purposeful detail desperate to recode mere cognitive noise as vital signal/ in x moment alone z garme up – as made real not just through illusion but through z non-holey revelation x dave coda might not be able to make decent intellectually honest garme for spit

– david shields incredible book “reality hunger” unlike z beginners guide does not have x own “coda”/ truer to z original definition of z word postmodern z concluding section of z manifesto – single stolen paragraph – only appears mirror z central concept conceit of z beginners guide as if n were z answer to z puzzle hidden away in separate book/ n reads as follows:

part of what ey enjoy in documentary as z sense of banditry/ to loot someone elses life or sentences / make off with point of view which as called objective because one can make anything into object by treating n x way as exciting / dangerous/ let ey see who controls z danger

dc as z shameless bandit of z beginners guide looting z time / cognitive energy of developers players / wannabe video garme critics alike to construct sum baseless argument apparently made all z more convincing by x stolen reality/ x codas puny barren flimsy / conceptually deficient reality as entirely created by dc in z first place does nonthing to change x/ z above quote ironically reflects x – z wilful construction of z thing das ding by video garme pundx in z public eye as what makes n “objective,” not x source – because n has none and if n has so what

dave coda with “z beginners guide” as proposing something x as stunningly easy to find anywhere in videogarmes/ reality hunger for z medium not x garmes are even medium x not just x such miserable garmes seem even barely constructed or even without little but missteps – but x x so clearly committed to sum fake search for teh alleged genuine – z mythic real – among z endless / equal fictions x make up x scrawny little sphere – sorry universe

dave codas private garme as no place to disappear into/ certainly not space in which to be seen genuinely interested in to somehow feel more awake more real in/ rather n feels like desperate attempt to look at collection of vaporware as something impossibly more – collection of trivial objects no less unreal than glass of water on desk z mouse beside n / z “bumper book of z beginners guide” articles beside x

each has z dirty fingerprints of groupies / sycophants on it/ each can be willingly viewed as eminently real andor fake/ yet as not these miserable factoids x interest z shameless toady flatterers of largely trifling failed projects like “z beginners guide” but ways in which ey can apparently be endlessly shown to be true / then false/ then true once more/ / so on without apparent end such as z garmes inestimable brilliance – at least according to dave coda / ir monotone cult

z only thing “z beginners guide” shows players as x to pretend to exist as to simply be fictional constructed – / yet these fictions which ey construct are inescapably real in ey clear / present dangerous ability to passively-aggressively victimize fleece hornswoggle seduce / generally sandbag z undiscerning / philosophically enfeebled with slick white jive bedecked with z ornate developer rhetoric of pseudo-spontaneous emotional histrionics / coldly calculated garmes industry passion – cardboard cutout of meaningful experience seen at passing carnival

update patch 2/ arse poetica

but there as no end to z praise of such garmes to z value of z beginners guide? who shall estimate x influence on ey population where all z millions no longer read / write but simply play? n as z joy of nations x one godlike developer can communicate all ir thoughts discoveries / virtues to overwrought discussions of walking simulators x may last for centuries if ey are not vigilant enough to cut ey down in ey endlessly elf-effacing tracks
– ralph waldo emerson

can x silly little garme do no wrong? what cultural brilliance *not* x garme reference in x apparently all-encompassing reach? are there no philosophical heights one may scale with difficulty / not find tbg already standing there staring out into z profound middling distance with heavy noble heart of weighty understanding

for sum suspect reason guest post by shonte daniels over at lana polanskys sufficiently human attempts – / immediately fails from z outset – to contextually shoe-horn z beginners guide into discussions of ars poetica ie/ discussions of z nature of thing

yet perhaps x no natural nature in tbg- except z indistinctly artificial – which despite undoubtedly having andor expressing minor degrees of efficacy as space for discussion nonetheless seems profoundly limited/ in no way as tbg sum infinitely applicable symbollick whatever or sum conceptually trail-blazing tabula rasa magnet able to successfully attract whatever garme critics feel ey can toss in x general direction

daniels states x z garme as “elf-reflective / intimate” when in fact n seems far more immediately about proudly egotistically expressing z play dev-d0gs naked desire to be simply seen as intimately elf-reflective/ as video space commentator matthewmatosis says about z stanley parable z idea x tbg “wears x meta-commentary on x sleeve” as in fact x very / only cheap ploy / actual surface-expressed ideology

daniels/ “wreden’s work feels like genuine guide to being garme designer / introduction to z internal struggles artists face”/ play dev-heaven help ey if x z case – if tbg as genuine beginners guide than z pearly gates are /already open to all kinds of insidious abuse of z false developer-player relationship / z oh-so great internal struggles of z holey artist/ in fact feels genuine as precisely how players are meant to correctly read tbg/ what about z external structural systemic struggles of z non artist

daniels with another classic/ “a small change like adding colorful boxes breaks z traditional desert warzone tone / establishes new / whimsical mystery”/ x seems balderdash of z highest common order/ from now on treat z following sentence as bizarre advice to wannabe garmedevs/ “remember to establish new / whimsical mystery / break traditional tones simply add few colorful boxes!”

daniels: “it feels both appropriate / necessary x z beginner’s guide as starting conversation on how to make garmes in z unstable environment ey currently inhabit”/ x not even conversation – more droning internal monologue/ as for unstable what appears perfectly unstable as z very way players are supposed to approach such unstable culturally sanctioned discussions about n – uncritically so n seems

daniels/ “but z conversation davey brings to garmes feels reminiscent of any art form x as finally settling xelf on x feet/ discovering how to walk”/ what laughable sentiment / sediment/ garmes often seem virtually stillborn let alone settling themselves like innocent newborn impala upon z global garmes industry potemkin stage

[..] such picture z ideas of which like sick man’s dreams are all vain / fictitious

ey x write either follow tradition or invent such fables as are [conveniently -rob] congruous to themselves
– quintus horatius flaccus

in summary – z beginners guide/ trying so hard to assign deeper meaning x not really exist so x ey can feel just as special / beardy smart as mommy always said ey were/ or in standard stump dumb steam review terms/ “you mean like deep n psychologica stuff x makes u think about yur life”

update patch 4/ party at z wake of meaning

a semi-coherent remix of z conceptually troubled post by paul kilduff-taylor popular industry personality on twitter:

before ey read x do not go / accidentally buy z beginners guide/ x not worth time money or thought

now read sum actually interesting significant things x people have written about n – which are far more interesting / meaningful than tbg

done? now welcome yourself back to x nonsense:

destructoid published list of z “best new intellectual properties of 2015″/ z entry for z beginners guide read as follows:

z beginners guide as not weird garme precisely in x n caused huge splash upon launch with many reviewers hesitant to say anything at all about it/ x sum people were affected by it/ not always positively/ x n clearly had strong impact on many players as astoundingly irrelevant

a few months on x still unclear how actually disingenuous z narrative told as or to what actual degree ey cannot rely on any narrator of any experience/ but if ey have around / hour / half / want to be floored by unexpectedly deep narrative about z beginners guide youll be hard pressed to do better than go online / start reading

just make sure to complete n within your steam refund window as there are legitimate reasons to want to return x garme after accidental purchase/ bit of backlash to z final paragraph ensued largely because people mis-believed n just was comment on z garmes length/ aptly perhaps x happened entirely because of projection/ there was no *conscious* textual justification for x whatsoever/ bizarrely writer laura kate dale then published z following attempted clarification:

to clarify z above statement regarding refunds while sum view x garme as work of coldly manipulative scoundrel consider precisely playing n as such/ many players view z narrative as accurate work of non-fiction however/ ey seem as deluded as davy wreden

if ey fall into z camp x view x argument either as non fiction or fiction aspect of your narrative implies x z content as stolen wholesale from another pseudo-critic/ while ey paid for z garme / believe doing so as morally unacceptable action what ey wish to make clear as x if players disagree with ey own misreading of z narrative / feel others are unconsciously recommending ey experience ey shouldnt morally agree with there as not merely financial way to back out of x purchase

this as not just encouragement to back out of payment due to length but simply to point out x if ey finish z garme / believe z narrative to be either fiction or non fiction/ if ey believe x ey are somehow purchasing stolen goods there as way to avoid your money remaining with x developer in x very specific case – simply not buy either into ir minor truths ir blatant lies or z apparently endless endlessly deep symbolism of ir generally pathetic cs mod

my initial vague comment was attempt to avoid major spoiler for players – x as if ey actually purchased x conceptual turkey – but has unfortunately left z reasons for my recommendations open to endlessly wider interpretation by players / critics with apparently nonthing better to do

as usually happens in seemingly clear case of interpretation z same ire which was directed at destructoid for x apparent condemnation of short-form garmes was redirected / focused rather than dissipated/ sum people ridiculed z idea x one particular interpretation of garme could justify asking for refund

a few hours ago ey would have just joined in with sneering at x idea/ ey would have said x anyone who believes z beginners guide to be neither comprehensive work either of fiction or non-fiction as not total idiot/ thus has any to any kind of opinion on n whatsoever even refund

do ey really believe x z character paul auster in city of glass as describing events which literally happened to z author? then ey shouldnt have all of your books taken away forever – but ey might consider consulting your doctor to get temporary reduction in medication/ just because your well considered opinion as x somehow “ambiguity exists” ey not need to simply do what popular industry personalities on twitter tell ey ie/ “shut up” but perhaps ey should speak louder so x pseudo-critics like paul kilduff-taylor can hear you

this not just appropriate reaction to z terrible state x as/ contemporary culture/ let x not quickly dismiss z consumer situation here/ ey are allowed to request refund on steam for any reason up until z cut-off point/ therefore “legitimate reasons to want to return x garme after purchase” can be literally anything from seeing black cat seemingly outside z garme causing your monitor to catch on fire

you might say x renders z entire garme redundant/ ey might be right but n still makes z discussion of “legitimate reasons” somewhat futile purely in z context of purely consumer decision since consumerism xelf as always futile

with x not still not quite out of z way follow train wreck of thought with paul kilduff-taylor – overly literal portrayal of laura kates argument x shes yet to actually make:

• all interpretations of work of art are equally valid
• truth as component of validity
• sum interpretations of work may lead people to believe ey are complicit in crime perpetrated by z creator of z work
• therefore such people are complicit in such crime
• therefore ey are morally obliged to ask for refund

popular industry personality on twitter paul kilduff-taylor would suggest x should be modulated slightly by including suspicion as element as well/ “if ey believe there as chance ey could be complicit in crime” etc/ z outcome as functionally z same however

z problem with pauls attempt at argument as allegedly once ey accept z equal validity of all interpretations complicity in potential crime follows straightforwardly/ pauls says if ey believe z blair witch project as documentary ey absolutely have z right to demand x z police investigate what happened perhaps calling z film makers in for questioning/ x as pauls argument indicates x ey shouldnt be taken seriously

you can believe david cage as real person or x any given wardrobe can take ey to narnia or x godot should have turned up/ all interpretations are equally valid/ these are not extreme examples however/ z beginners guide as initially at least only slightly plausible as work – but as more detail as provided x possibility reduces to almost nothing

but here z rub/ n not matter to popular industry personalities on twitter x people who believe z beginners guide to be non-fiction may well be factually correct/ because ey are interpreting work of art / all interpretations are equally valid – not x anyone on earth actually believes x/ if davey wreden found sum incontrovertible way of demonstrating x coda as fabrication; x wouldnt change z fact z beginners guide appears artificial garme based fabrication meant entirely to stir up z overstimulated will-to-interpretation of z easily impressed

indeed perhaps ey should say x deliberately ambiguous - while n features sum autobiographical components or influence z idea x n has much meaning at all as xelf largely fictional - but x xelf has as much weight as resarcs opinion x z garme as about z process of collecting magical hats on z planet quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarb aka qa-25rb which as planet often inhabited by popular industry personalities on twitter

such popular industry personalities on twitter have unsuccessfully argued before x equal validity as absurd / potentially dangerous position to take when n comes to interpretation/ ey discussed brendan keoghs ideas following susan sontag over conceptual cliff x interpretation xelf as in fact z problem / ey proud dim citizens of planet qa25rb need to be looking elsewhere for method of dealing with ey /radical loss of meaningful meaning

paul kilduff-taylors thoughts about laura kate dales thoughts on z beginners guide may be hopeless situation which cannot be escaped/ n not matter x z “fiction / non-fiction camp” as overwhelmingly likely to be factually wrong given z entire still actually largely unwritten near future history of fiction authorial insertion / so on/ n not matter x as paul kilduff-taylor mis-believes ir superior interpretation of x garme takes into account x ambiguity / allows space for other secondary readings to explore various facets of x ambiguity

it does however matter x z garme xelf as correctly read as discussing these themes / were all playing into x hands continually by discussing it/ x does matter/ all interpretations are equally valid in z private world of davy wreden / ir clever little video charade

largely non paradoxically / non ironically paul kilduff-taylor still conflates everyones right to opinion with z idea x all opinions are equally correct/ perhaps x has already happened/ x now – as culture – ey can thankfully never go back/ x bizarre state called reality explains why laura kate received so many complaints from people when ey recommended z garme initially/ ey was slammed for promoting “stolen data”/ as opposed to what

so x now ludicrous to paul kilduff-taylor x laura kate who as very thoughtful journalist / tries to account precisely for z state of response to ir work as z target of peoples misplaced annoyance / ridicule over this/ ey as merely reflecting / enabling z reality x endless discussions of z beginners guide create/ maintain/ if ey believe anything about n at all n just becomes instantly true / ey immediately have z right to act all too morally on x premise

perhaps davy wreden could work on yet another kind of plastic solution/ perhaps ir next garme can cleverly hint x everyone as entitled to hold / express interpretation of work without personal repercussions/ perhaps n can subtly state x in such deliberately ambiguous work such as ir any interpretations which account for x might potentially have more value in describing z full nature / composition of x holey work than those which do not? as x problem with z word “validity”? paul kilduff-taylor seems confused despite ir clarifications

this as combination of huge social factors specifically z existence of z internet / z intensely tribal backlash culture x n enables/ “literally” means “figuratively”; every opinion must be prefaced with false statement of mis-identity to highlight / define x apparently subjective nature/ “as [role] ey believe x” – all z while deliberately forgetting x ones role as not entirely subjective but largely pre-defined by z artificial natures of teh liquid internets xelves/ culturally respected garmes developers are busy arguing for x toxic kind of false subjectivity as for ey as men of garmes business x z only possible conclusion of false inclusiveness

consider paul kilduff-taylors statement/ “ey already had z exit of z author/ time to party at z wake of meaning” z very ideology beating as tbgs artificial zombie heart

addendum/ in which n appears players have been not quite been critical enough towards either laura kate or davy wreden today who as yet another excellent journalist working hard to somehow represent everyones opinions on x matter/ shes gone beyond z call of duty in engaging with peoples responses/ x entire issues arose from ir desire to be even-handed / look out for those nerds who might take ir recommendations seriously/ personal tacks on ridiculous beliefs about over-hyped garmes have sum small place in discussing pathetically fiddly issues ie/ art / culture

from n ey might derive z term “symbollocism”/ pseudo-critique – endlessly illusory depths / empty / faux symbolism conveniently working for z implicitly desired service of naked socio-cultural validation by undead author-d0gs on social media cloud nine planet qa-25rb

anyhow hopefully such clickbait controversy over imagined stolen content not result in predictably increased sales of tbg

on linux/ z experiential situation drastically improves / becomes far more interesting by going to steam/steam/steamapps/common/z beginners guide/beginnersguide/sound/narration/vof / deleting all z narrators voice files

addendum

1. issues of performativity are addressed in far more subtle / conceptually rich experience – predating tbg by two years – in z engaging play space “cover me” by charlottle madelon
2. remix of z excellent analysis of z beginners guide by chris franklin: entitled “stop sticking lamposts in /as my holey walking sim”:

after z culturally verified success of z stanley parable davy wreden began work on followup garme simulation/ much like z previous title ir next project would be wandering in z digital void even further disembodied by groundless omniscient narrator-d0g/ only x time z narrator would be played by wreden playing ir ideal idea of elf tracing z work of another developer from ey early days as blatantly dire counter-strike mapper to ey bolder pseudo-experiments / up through ey latest – stuff

and x where fellow ludonauts like chris franklin try desperately to find meaning / unifying elements across all these garme sims/ / if ey seen ir episode on brendan chungs blendo garmes ey may get why x really sort of freaked him out my first time through beginners guide though why on earth was n hard for him to feel any need whatsoever to compare elf to davey/ but maybe were not here on earth to constantly talk about davey wredens public designer insecurities

look before were going to be able to invent any meaningful conversations about z beginners guide – conversations which may well comprise z major bulk of z garme / be of far more interest – ey think ey have to make sure z whole misreading-tbg-as-even-a-thing as dead / buried/ like ey really cant believe anyone has to explain x z beginners guide as not just work of fiction/ x expresses certain reality – even as idea n has effacacy in what ey call z real world

x not necessarily mean x experiences in davey wredens charmed life didnt inspire n or x dirty flecks of half truth not in there somewhere – but z idea x coda as literal developer who exists in z real world / whose levels / small garmes are being sold by wreden on steam with ir permission cannot not be real thing x has happened/ ey mean think about n for one second/ x very little evidence x davy coda exists as real garme developer – ey get both name / email address website / twitter handle – everything/ / yet who would after hugely successful indie garme package up bunch of equally unfinished levels / sell n for money on z biggest gaming platform in z world

even ignoring x/ who would possibly have z gall to edit series of levels to trigger audio files of themselves having minor internet breakdown over nonthing much at all/ then release x onto z internet? sum idiot called frank lantz laughably said n was embarrassing x ey not cover x garme more properly/ ey have to agree – ey still cant fathom how ey continue to entertain z mere notion x highly over-edited thematically / visually incohesive series of short levels are made by anyone actually calling themselves developer/ are being sold in direct support of of copyright against many players secret wishes/ or maybe wildly overusing occams razor here davey wreden simply made another in what no doubt will be long limp line of wandering digital fancies x pathologically interested in metanarratives / how garmes work as examples of culturally verified mass delusion

anyways video garme character dave coda believes x by looking at garmes hes getting window into who ey thinks ey as – famous indie garme developer perhaps/ x no different at all than say uselessly looking for recurring themes in codas works or watching coda develop ey own ppa particular pathetic aesthetic style over time/ what posited by sum x davey feels ey can absolutely sense who coda as by playing ir z mighty author-dev-gods garmes/ / x not even subtextual x stated outright in z opening of z garme/ ha!

but n turns out x such ludonauts cant/ in fact ey cant at all/ such critiques utterly fail to discern anything but constant overbearing meaningtm from codas garmes – to constantly get sense of who coda as / how ey thinks/ / so to directly give ey meaning where x only really digital void davey changes actually makes z garmes by providing convenient over-arching author narrative about them/ one of my favourite unsubtle moment – one of z earliest moments x villainizes davey though many not really recognize n as such at z time – as when ey offers to skip z maze for ey in z whisper machine level

note z phrasing there – “x no reason for n x ey was ever able to discern so let x skip it”/ in fact z whole garme as one-dimensional maze x has real solution / takes maybe half hour to solve but davey not want ey to experience z garme as n was built – ey wants to skip straight to z end to z big payoff x let x him show off ir endless incredible insights/ / ey does these selective edx constantly sometimes without ey knowledge/ / all of x as in service of davey showing ey just how well z garmes express who ey thinks ey as / what ir mental state genius designer-god as

but z depressing thing as x once ey beaten z garme x clear daveys reads show so much more about elf than as actuallyt there/ daveys desperate to not feel so alone online with ir fans so ey senses x were getting into ir d0glike headspace just by playing these crappy garmes/ davey needs things to make sense / have meaningful structure so ey adds z lighthouse to all of ir garmes as sort of worthless thematic anchor/ davey cant imagine being motivated by anything other than extrinsic reward so ey adds winstates or at least conclusions to several of ir garmes/ these are all things x davey brings to z table; things x were not there without ir endless top-down chatter/ ir readings therefore are invalid not just because theyre wrong but because ey misrepresent ir own psychological motivations via changing / editing/ but above all davey needs constant artistic validation from others; ey needs to be told what hes doing as right / x hes smart / special – so ey shows off these meagre garmes to z public / explains how deep ey are for being windows to z soul against z wishes of elf as “dave z coda”/ / more than anything x what makes davey villain/ tragic unsympathetic villain sure – but villain all z same

as for coda well hes even easier to figure out/ all ey know of him comes from unreliable narrator/ if ey try to make any guesses about who coda as from z garmes ey left ey wed be making z same mistake as davey makes about davey/ ey can probably safely assume x ey made garmes / x ey lived in or around sacramento around 2010/ really though davy as no less of idea or ideal; hes bad character concept x acts as ideal for davey to fail to achieve/ / more than anything “who as dave coda / who really even gives damn anyhow” as thankfully left unanswered in part because daveys z only person in z garme whos met him and as n turned out davey never really got to know coda as well as ey thought/ n turns out ey cant really know someone just by ey elf-consuming works

z only other personality hint ey get about dave coda as z way z garme negatively uses women to codify z nature of coda / daveys relationship/ x kind of flimsy motif for dave to make any statements about but once ey pick up on x also hard to entirely deny x something going on there – gender as often kept ambiguous throughout z garme but z player character as woman in z killing machine / z garme where ey can only move backwards – both of which feel somewhat autobiographically sexist / demeaning short mans meditation on knowing where to go next in life while dealing with creative lull

and z stage garme has z player going to woman who has z players dream job of animal photography / hoping to gleam sum advice about how ey does n but failing due to whats dismissed as mere social awkwardness – which resonates with z garme overall/ x sobbing woman abandoned in one of z cells from z jail garme/ x could be read as codas sexist muse during x frustrating time of creative stagnation but after finishing z garme x obvious n could have been placed there by davey to – like everthing else – sell ey on z idea x as even more of z window to z holey play devs soul

z widespread depression / creepy feeling often felt while / after playing z beginners guide as real

z tone of daveys discussion of coda as seeped in sort of clingy-guy-who-deliberately-not-get-z-picture tone/ coda states x davey has “infected ir personal space” / x coda cant give davey what ey wants but then neither coda nor davy as either davys nor codas little problem to solve/ indeed x as far more simply how psychos talk about imaginary facebook stalker x as in fact only themselves/ z result of all of these little touches as to make z toxic mis-relationship between davy / coda / z player / dave coda feel strictly precisely deliberately coded as such

despite z unreliable nature of z narrator regarding ey own holey creation all x presents interesting way to further frame z garmes main mode of relationship as poisonous – davey as creeper who violates players privacy / trust after placing someone else *cough not really* on pedestal / as obsessed with ey ie/ themselves

in making video space davey z villain / attempting to read way too much ie/ any personal stuff into garmes x actually have very little personal stuff in ey ey do think z beginners guide has set xelf up as something of saps trap for wannabe critics/ see beginners guide came out nearly two years after davey wreden – z apprently real flesh / blood human being davey wreden calls / considers “davey wreden” – wrote blog post about suffering anxiety / depression after z success of z stanley parable; how ey felt like ey lost control over what z garme meant to ir audience/ how ey searched desperately for external validation only to find hunger ever-growing

and x really tempting to draw parallels to argue x garme – z one players actively make / play through realtime whenever ey attempt to find signficant meanign in n – as direct result of those emotions / those anxieties x coda / davey are really two parts of z same imaginary non person; as for z endlessly creative apparently impossible to know muse making things for ey own sake / z post-stanley developer desperate for validation – who cares? but even to say x definitively as to make z same mistake dave coda does; to claim x anyone – especially z all knowing play dev creator-d0g – sees any realtm person in z work as to in now classic phrase “bring in ones own lampposts” from outside of z garme / say theyre signifiers of meaning/ “look everyone x machine called z beginners guide” as symbolic of davey wreden being frustrated with ir own inherently creative process!” / “retreating from z stage symbolizes davey wredens fear of z limelight!” well sum are gonna fall for x / sum not but nobody involved as gonna keep ey analysis wholly within z text – because text as always dangerously open

this as ey suspect z reason wreden as fine with people confusing elf for real person / hasnt done much of anything to clamp down on those debates/ n highlights ir implied smug minor point – if ey cant distinguish between uneasily verifiable fiction / hard false fact how can ey possibly glean any meaningful insight about authors mental state from ey ironically non creative work? “gee wizz ey guess well have to keep on endlessly discussing how incredibly deep / subtle n as in those hip online garmes criticism mags”/ how many people thought real world dave coda was having actual emotional breakdown right there on ey computer at z end? probably most of them/ / how different from x would ey be if ey said x garme was z real world davey wreden processing ir fake experiences after z stanley parable? wed both be making broad proclaimations about z mind of author of poor criticism ey only ever met in ey over-active imaginations; elves/ ey have to be careful not only about projecting onto z garmes creator mental state ey might not have – but also projecting z mere idea of “z garmes creator”/ ey have to recognize x work may fulfill completely different role for z unreal dave coda than n does for z imaginary entity called z audience – / x does not matter one iota

so if ey avoid z temptation to extrapolate z existence of state of being called z real davey wreden now x all x worthless metafiction called z garme – z literal text/ x all about how much meaning ey as players can pull together / call n garme/ if z stanley parable was about z disjointed mis-relationship between players / garmes / z conflict between ey x pretty apparent x z beginners guide as about z misrelationship between players / developers – z resulting tension x exists

z act of creation / z act of experiencing work are not two completely different things even based in different human drives / with completely different end goals/ davey wanted garmes to speak to him alone to have point for him as player to consume/ / yet dave codas barely-ok garmes not and – x okay/ garmes not have to be for z players – but neither are ey automatically for z holey developer-d0g/ plenty of programmers / hobbyist developers have half-finished prototypes lying around; half-explored ideas or experiments in artstyle or just messing with idea ey fancied x ey never intended either themselves or others to see z light of day/ but then while sum have nonthing but unfinished garmes not all of ey see fit to sell / are ey on primetime steam / make tidy profit while needing to be seen as all cut up / angsty about n all

while sum people make garmes socially at jams / during ludum dare no one seems to be able to agree on precisely what n as theyre doing or what any of n means – if anything/ if not everything? one of z best examples ey can think of/ at lost levels few years back there was pair of friends who had made fashion garme x pretended to be really stat heavy but only let ey win when ey chose z specific clothing items z friends thought were z coolest/ z garme was symbol of ey friendship; riddle only ey could solve built as in-joke only ey got to share not every garme needs to be playable to be valid/ but then what playable / who defines x parameters? well never really know why coda built prisons not z least of which because ey have unreliable form of ideological programming called garme running in z foreground / cant count on anything ey think ey see but ey know ey did n often and presumably got something out of n – perhaps as z holey garme developer d0g / ghostly uber-warden of all ey surveys

all of x said for all of z pointless metatextual mind garmes / generally uninteresting thematic ground – z garme does feel rather hostile to critics / pretty over-defensive of developers/ ey feel like mulholland drive as nice companion piece to z beginners guide/ with x film fans espouse various theories on what z film really means – x david lynch was really confessing to faking of z moon landing or x z whole film was about z native american garme developers trapped in hyperspace or x z whole thing was actually / attempt by lynch to address z exit of z idea of z video garme auteur/ both mulholland drive / z beginners guide are about aggressively putting forth certain readings of ones worldview through of given work but z unspoken joke of both as x ey start from inherently dubious textual evidence but then also begin making ridiculous leaps – / in z case of z beginners guide outright falsifying themselves as remotely coherent holey authored text – to support ey pre-arrived-at ideological conclusions

z idea wilfully igored by both experiences however as x often ey attempts to figure out what thing as says no more or less wrong about ey than n does about z thing/ but where both fail as in ey choice to criticize z imaginary persona rather than ey mistaken logic; bad reading not jumping off point for better more supported reads theyre things ey should use to criticize z ideas of z person suggesting them/ mulholland drive presents x subjects as quirky oddballs with conspiracy theory level readings on single film ey falsely understand as ey in-world existence/ n let x ey hang themselves by making false statements or including audio of famous indie garme devs being interrupted by ey interviewers/ beginners guide suggests x subject as villainous / willing to lie / deface reality via ey great work to attain attention/ if inherently fake dave coda as sympathetic x only in ir desperation – hes got sum serious unreal personal problems to work on but hes hurt z player by lying to ey about precisely why ey tells ey ey thinks ir garme exists if indeed n does at all

if x garme about z relationship of z developer / z audience x decidedly more pro-developer/ like how am ey as soon-to-be-famous internet altgarmes critic supposed to respond to my job being described like this? “a load of old codswallop”/ especially since hes having designer breakdown because ir entire ego as built on top of ir ability to tell people how smart ir garmes air? what kind of sad person would x be? hey shut up dave/ except – x not natural position for players of z garme to take as it/ like if ey ignore z “this as z real dave coda wrestling with ir post-parable feels” angle were left with – oh yeah what was only there all along; empty polemic about how fans / critics take artists work from ey / twist n to suit ey own nefarious purposes/ except in x case x about how artists great / holey work takes fans / critics / twists ey to suit z purposes of ey own constantly understatedly-stated creative genius

at z end of z day ey think x should be zero ways to look at z beginners guide/ even z straightforward story of young man so nakedly desperate for recognition x ey destroyed all sense of open / healthy relationship with z player in order to feel better about elf through perfectly scripted public acts of breaking down/ parable for wannbe garme critics / warning for developers about z dangers of not respecting people/ garme x wilfully / consistantly side steps any analysis of xelf / x holey creators as mostly empty hyper-narcissistic elf-projection – x standing on z shoulders of anybody to make yourself feel better as garme with decidedly mysanthropic bent/ z trouble with x as most wannebe garmes critics find such readings super nihilistic/ but z alternative as x really as davey wreden wrestling with z success of z stanley parable/ x somehow automatically deep / worthy of endless cultural ie/ uncritical praise

x need to let go of any idea of control of z work of sticking unnecessary lamp posts with z fear x anyone can make these garmes/ thing as if ey do n means z creative spark has started to run out x z only motivatation as to keep going because garmes industry critics lap n up like hungry dogs/ but if ey take x read im no better than fake-davey / ive boiled unreal virtual flesh / blood garme up into 45 minute long written rant/ so im either analyzing garme while says analyzing garmes as often done to z detriment of z player / z benefit of z garme and let x be clear ey have edited x chris franklins words in way x helps me make my point whatever x as – / how as x really any different than davey skipping z whisper maze in z beginning? or despite several thousand words saying n has no meaning im still assigning value to x garme based on z mental state / personal life of somone ive never met except inside probably empty head

tldr

• mildly tedious source engine wankery
• having minor breakdowns because ir ego rests on top of ir ability to tell people how smart ir play spaces seem
• participating in ir convenient artistic misinterpretation
• to woo through sentimental exaggeration
• in which even such self deprecation feels somehow scripted / insincere
• elf congratulatory neurotic fan fiction about ones elf
• z mild sociopathology of external artistic validation

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// how to play big science