How To Play Big Science: A Strange Imaginary Game

TLDR: This is the odd story of Resident Internet Theorist / brand “Robert What” – an absurdist R&D LARP into a ‘strange imaginary game’ called Big Science.

All site content and worldbuilding – postmodern analysis, digital conceptual art and post Cyberpunk ‘theory-fiction’, etc. – releases under the following terms: “No License, No Copyright, Maximum R&D. Please Kopimi!” It exists for the purposes of philosophical critique, sociopolitical commentary and cultural satire. Before Namecheap screwed things up, this site was called Alien Fiction.

Fascinating, rambling, deranged
Reddit review

What: To consider an absurdist online performance (LARP) of Philosophy, Literature and Art.

Who: Robert What – apparently the Internet’s (fictional, self-styled) Resident Theorist. Existentially depressed, often displays mild Postmodern Neomarxist tendencies. UK based, has little authority or talent. (“And yet here we are, together as allies. Comrades in arts. Making the best of it.”)


Internet Theorist Bob What

Mission: “A stylized zeitgeist response.” A virtual artistic escape attempt from the Terminal Boredom of daily life on backwater Brexshit-gammon island ‘Endland’ / Dismaland.

Lockdown Art: Lonely, depressed, socially isolated art in a time of intense global crisis.

Big Science: A ‘strange imaginary game you pretend to play’. Set in the dark, neon tinged ‘near future retro 80s’ hyperreality of late stage Videogame Capitalism aka Ludocapitalism. Ideal for Zero to Infinity players, ages 18-80.

Example in-scene usage:

Researcher Y: Hi – what are you doing?
Researcher X: Oh, you know – “Big Science.”
Researcher Y: *blinks* OK.. How do you play?
Researcher X: Good question! Let’s find out.

A novel is also available.

How To Play Big Science cover

Your Role: That of a fellow brilliant, troubled Research Scientist, recently hired by a mythical Near Future hypercorporation to work on ‘advanced R&D projects’ with cosmic scale implications.

How To Play Big Science? This site showcases Rob’s own worldbuilding and playthrough; bricolage, remixes and mashups of digital pop culture artifacts found Online. These images and post Cyberpunk ‘theory-fiction’ fragments represent his minor adventures and low key discoveries within The Game.

So how do you play B.S? The following Player Orientation Video will help set the tone, and provide a timely flavor of what’s precisely at stake here:


Rob’s Big Plan: To break free of the heavy stone neck brace of Student Debt, buy a well insulated house, fully develop and express “Big Science” and help other Researchers – eventually forming a cool Alternative Artist Collective / Experimental Data Syndicate where they can play in an atmosphere of intellectual and artistic freedom and interdisciplinary cultural exchange, without interruption in a supportive environment.

Meanwhile However: Robert must unfortunately Earn A Living™. This fact is treated as inseparable from his daily political Digital Labor Practice or ‘Art (as) Work’. He also despises the Capitalist ideology of Patreon.

Site Notes: Previously in lowercase to engage with notions of Polish & Professionalism. Everything here is free as in Freedom: “Zero Copyright, No License, Maximum R&D” – please Kopimi! – and exists for the purposes of philosophical critique, sociopolitical commentary and cultural satire. Trans liberation now. Black lives matter. Death to (/inner-tangerine) fascism.


Artistic Approach: Art too often seems laborious and impoverishing; years of fruitless accumulative effort to develop small-potatoes ideas, whose more imperfect Conceptual exposition is possible almost immediately. Even better still – to simply pretend that such advanced ‘R&D Projects’ already exist – and then to offer resumes, outlines, commentaries. More non-reasonable, more lazy and chilled, it feels preferable to scrawl strange digital graffiti in the margins of imaginary worlds..

Purchasing Art: Some helpful theoretical context for purchasing Art (/in the time of Covid) from this site – via Resident Net Theorist Robert What:

  • “This is not some bullshit Artist Statement, but rather a polite middle finger to mainstream art in general.
  • All art on this site is of the Luxury Automated Conceptual Communist Performance variety – in which the very notion of ‘Robert What’ as an artist, and everything he performs is on offer for a total of $8B.
  • According to the strict, standard contemporary values of the Global Capitalist Art Market, Robert’s art-performance appears fairly priced.
  • To purchase such Art, is to enter into a conceptually performative call-and-response with Resident Internet Theorist Robert What. Such Art is only really meant for ‘the ultra rich and white with no taste’.
  • Such work contains ‘1 calorie art’; its success and failure as art lie in the precise moment – manifest privilege – of Purchase and default Consumerist excess.
  • Works on this site featuring the phrase ‘Ideal / Idealized cost for such a concept as this: £ [AMOUNT] – contact Robert What today for details‘ are available to purchase instantly.
  • After Robert What has verified the transaction has gone through, he can then provide a digital certificate of conceptual purchase.”

Do you know any G.U.I’s (Gullible Rich Idiots) easily able to finance precisely this kind of laughably grandiose artistic insanity and darkly cynical anti-genius? If so, please let them know about Robert What and this site – no doubt they’ll find it all very Delightful, Edgy and Intriguing! More example details here:

Hire / Contact: If you’ve unique R&D Projects which could benefit from outside consultation, freelance speculative ideas brainstormer ‘Robert What’ brings keen non-rational / experimental philosophical investigation and a deep left-field perspective to reveal and expand existing / hidden Meaning and untapped potential Artistry. Rob’s skillz include the ability to undertake daring cognitive leaps between concepts and perceptions; such extensive tests and imprecise deployed notions involve indeterminate strategies – unpredictable ongoing developments and impossible events to deconstruct and ponder radically alternative improbable outcomes – providing fresh insights into emergent ‘in-Scene’ play.

Contact Details: To discuss such bleeding edge ‘theory-fiction’, chat about cool project collaboration andor consultation, reach out today at bob at robertwhat dot com. Expect up to three working days for replies. Robert What is not on Social Media.

Comments Policy: Politeness & intelligence will be reciprocated.

I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels.
– Diogenes of Sinope

Om Mani Padme Hum.

// how to play big science