Example ‘About’ Page Temple For Your Site

To consider a handy lorem ipsum (‘dummy text’) filed ‘About’ page template for websites:

Fascinating, rambling, deranged
Reddit Site Review

What: To consider an absurdist online performance (LARP) of Philosophy, Literature and Art (ie. basically just Ideas, Text & Images.)

Who: Robert What – the Internet’s Resident Theorist.

Not: As a non-contemporary non-artist, non-writer and non-philosopher who doesn’t work with emerging and fashionable experimental technologies such as Blockchain, Robert What is not the current Head Of Art Practice at some School of Post Industrial Art & Design. His artistic practice does not interrogate the relationship between aesthetics and power, interrogating techno-economic structures across Mass Culture, Politics and and the Military-Industrial-Scientific Complex. Since 1980, Robert’s practice has not integrated performance and installation alongside screen-based interventions. Examples do not include: commissioned performances in Paris; video work depicting a low-orbital hacked military flight simulator in Tokyo, documentation of a video game performance exhibited in Milan, a ‘start-up as artwork’ or an experimental data visualization of online multiplayer data in Sydney. Significant exhibitions of Robert’s ‘work’ do not include: private and public collections. (Basically he isn’t rich + white.) He has no authority or expertise whatsoever.


Net Theorist Robert What

Mission: “A stylistic zeitgeist response”; a virtual artistic escape attempt from the Terminal Boredom of daily life on backwater Brexit-gammon island ‘Endland’ aka Ukania / Dismaland.

Lockdown Art: Desperately lonely, existentially depressed, socially isolated art in a time of intense global crisis.

Big Science: A ‘strange imaginary game you pretend to play’, set in the dark neon tinged ‘near future retro 80s’ hyperreality of late stage Videogame Capitalism (aka Ludocapitalism.) Ideal for Zero to Infinity players, ages 18-80. Typical in-scene use:

Researcher Y: Hi – what are you doing?
Researcher X: Oh, you know – “Big Science.”
Researcher Y: *blinks once* OK.. How do you play?
Researcher X: Good question. Let’s find out!

How To Play Big Science

Novel: Post-Cyberpunk (‘Neuropink’) Theory-Fiction fragments concerning “How To Play Big Science”. 636K word Epub: how-to-play-big-science-a-novel-by-robert-what.zip. Both ambivalence engine and inquiry mode – “Big Science” manifests in this dimension as new age social media style cult / free to play eSport set in ‘Near Future Now’ of global Ludocapitalist videogame spectacle; a giddy, hyperreal age of rogue precedents / presidents and kaleidoscopic, a-temporal expression; an emergent, planetary scale meta-computation shockwave tapping the ‘very dark’ energy fabrics of space-time Beyond. Fellow player Robert What has spent decades sitting alone in cold rented laboratories, deep diving through terabytes of digital zombie pop trash as immaterial for vague ‘RND Projects’ – and now shares his predictably oddball findings and mundane observations online. A related book of videogame critique is also available: The Best Of Alien Fiction.

You’re Role: That of a fellow brilliant, troubled Research Scientist, recently hired by a mythical near future hyper-corporation to work on ‘advanced R&D projects’ with ultimately cosmic scale implications.

How To Play Big Science? There are many ways; this site showcases Rob’s particular worldbuilding / playthrough; bricolage / remixes / mashups of digital pop culture artifacts found Online. These images and post Cyberpunk ‘theory-fiction’ fragments represent his adventures and discoveries within The Game. So how do you play B.S? The following intro video will help set the tone, and provide a timely flavor of what’s precisely at stake:


Rob’s Plan: To break free of the heavy stone neck brace of Student Debt, buy a well insulated house, fully develop and express “Big Science” and help fellow Researchers, eventually forming a cool Alternative Artist Collective / Experimental Data Syndicate where they can play in an atmosphere of intellectual and artistic freedom and interdisciplinary cultural exchange, without interruption in a supportive environment. Meanwhile however he must unfortunately Earn A Living™; this fact is treated as inseparable from his daily Digital Labor Practice or ‘Art (as) Work’.

Site: Previously in lowercase to engage with notions of Polish & Professionalism. Note everything on this site is free as in Freedom: “Zero Copyright, No License, Maximum R&D” – please Kopimi! – and exists for the purposes of philosophical critique, sociopolitical commentary and cultural satire. Black lives matter. Death to (/inner-tangerine) fascism.


Artistic Approach: Art too often seems laborious and impoverishing, often taking years of fruitless accumulative effort to develop small-potatoes ideas whose imperfect Conceptual exposition is possible in under a minute. Better then to pretend that such ‘R&D Projects’ already exist – and then to offer resumes, outlines, commentaries. More non-reasonable, more lazy and chilled, it feels preferable to scrawl digital graffiti in the margins of imaginary worlds.

Purchasing Art From This Site: Some helpful theoretical context for buying Art (/in the time of Covid) from / via Resident Net Theorist Robert What – in short, an Artist Statement:

  • “All art on this site is of the Luxury Automated Conceptual NFT Crypto-Performance variety. In which the very notion of Robert What as an artist (+ everything he performs) is on offer for a total $8B. Individual pieces of Robert’s art-performance are fairly priced.. according to the strict, standard contemporary values of the Global Capitalist Art Market.
  • To purchase such art is to enter into a conceptually performative call-and-response with Internet Theorist Robert What. Such art is only really meant for ‘the ultra rich and white with no taste’. Such work contains ‘1 calorie art’; its success and failure as art lie in the precise moment – manifest privilege – of Purchase / default Consumerist excess.
  • Works on this site featuring the phrase ‘Ideal / Idealized cost for such a concept as this: £ [AMOUNT] – contact Robert What today for details‘ are available to buy instantly; after such a completed transaction, Robert What can provide a physical certificate of conceptual purchase.”

Do you know people easily able to finance this kind of grandiose artistic insanity / darkly cynical anti-genius? If so, please let them know about this site! They’ll no doubt find it all very Delightful and Intriguing. More details here:

Hire / Contact Robert What: If you’ve unique R&D Projects which could benefit from outside consultation, freelance speculative ideas brainstormer ‘Robert What’ brings keen non-rational / experimental philosophical investigation and a deep left-field perspective to reveal and expand existing / hidden meaning and untapped potential artistry. Rob’s skills include the ability to undertake daring cognitive leaps between concepts and perceptions; such extensive tests and imprecise deployed notions involve indeterminate strategies – unpredictable ongoing developments and impossible events to deconstruct and ponder radically alternative improbable outcomes – providing fresh insights into emergent ‘in-scene’ play.

To discuss such bleeding edge ‘theory-fiction’, chat about cool project collaboration andor consultation, contact bob at robertwhat dot com today. Robert What is not currently on Social Media. Expect up to three working days for replies.

Site Comments Policy: Politeness & intelligence reciprocated.

I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels.
– Diogenes of Sinope

Om Mani Padme Hum.

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// how to play big science

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